Abortion - 3 children already

[Northernmum3]

Hi!

DH and I had an incident where the condom broke two weeks ago. I thought I was ovulating so took the morning after pill, which seems to have failed me too.

Anyway, we have 3 children under 5 and a new house so we are not in a position to have another baby. I’ve never done it before but we are going to have to terminate the pregnancy. I’m currently 4 weeks, 1 day.

I have been in touch with a few different places. Does anyone know the timeline of how this happens? I have phone consultation with NUPAS on Friday. Will they send the pills out or will I have to wait longer? The wait is awful already and we only found out today!

Thank you if you’ve got this far - no judgement please - we have to do what’s best for our little ones now and financially for us as a family.

Hello, I was wondering how you are getting on? I found out yesterday that we are pregnant. We don’t want to have anymore children and for various reasons similar to yourself are thinking about an abortion. I couldn’t get hold of anyone today. I feel absolutely awful and hate the waiting around.

@Lonestar1988
Hi!

I finished the second tablets last night.

So I found out on the Wednesday. I rang NUPAS, MISA and BPAS to see who could speak to me the earliest. I had read on here MISA needed to do two phone calls so that was a last resort! NUPAS gave me a phone call 2 days later (the Friday) and went through some questions - I think this is to check how at risk you are of ectopic and then general questions about safeguarding: how safe I am in my relationship etc.

They agreed I could have the pill by post. They arrived Tuesday but I waited until Thursday evening to take the first one, I had no side effects with this apart from some pink discharge when I wiped but about 23 hours layer
After 25 hours, I took the second tablets (last night). I waited until 6pm as my DC all go to bed at 7 (they’re still young!)
It was uncomfortable but not as bad as I’d imagined, I’m still bleeding now and passed a few clots but nothing noticeable at all; maybe because of how early I am.

I hope you’re ok. It’s an awful situation isn’t it. My DH said he was happy to do whatever I wanted and didn’t want to feel like I had to terminate for the sake of the house, car, financial reasons etc. I feel sad today but I know it’s for the best for our family. We have a holiday booked next year and our DC are so excited for their first time on a plane, they wouldn’t have had that and we would have been so stretched at times like birthdays and Christmas.

Feel free to ask anything at all ❤️

Thought I’d post an update for anyone frantically searching like I was when this happened!
it’s been 3 weeks now and I took the pregnancy test they sent and it was negative. I felt so much relief. I can honestly say I don’t regret our decision. I do sometimes wonder what the baby would have been like but I know for my current children, it’s the right decision.

Nobody knows apart from me and DH. If anyone has any questions, feel free to post or message me. It’s not an easy decision and it’s such a tough process but you have to do what’s right for you, your partner and family. That’s what’s got me through

@Northernmum3 Thank you for the update. We are 9 post tablets and the bleeding has almost stopped. I am feeling exactly how you have described that you are feeling. We have no regrets either and are looking forward now to spending christmas with our two children.

What a positive helpful post. Love people putting stuff like this out there. I had a termination nearly 2 years ago now. I’ve struggled but mine was for very different reasons (the hormones had a horrendous impact on my mental health, it was dangerous and therefore) I’ve since gone on to have my beautiful 3rd armed ready for the hormonal impact. However - I think the lack of factual information like this out there is part of what stigmatises it and leads to misplaced guilt etc (Which I had resurface after the birth of my daughter) when actually at the end of the day we should feel empowered to do what’s right for us and our families. Two strong women @Northernmum3 and @Lonestar1988 ❤️