Abortion - Fiancè not coming to appointment

[FirstTimeMum072025]

I had a baby girl in May 2025. I’m 5 months post partum and am 5 weeks pregnant (unplanned). Unfortunately I developed bilateral pulmonary embolisms after having my daughter in May (luckily they were small). However my GP has said as I’m still on treatment for them that proceeding with this pregnancy could be life threatening.

Before speaking to the GP my partner and I had agreed we need to terminate (for a number of reasons). My partner came to this conclusion before I did, but I do agree - primarily due to having had the PE’s in May and still on treatment.

Anyway he was meant to be coming to the appointment on Tuesday this week to talk with a consultant who will maybe carry out the abortion there and then. However my fiancè is now saying he has to attend a work meeting he can’t get out of so isn’t coming with me. I feel so disappointed in him.

We don’t have family where we live so I’m considering flying my mum down to watch my baby as I am not taking her to that appointment! He said we can do that but I said I’ll still need to go to the appointment on my own if he’s working. He also said he has a work night out on Thursday this week that he can’t get out of.

Am I valid in feeling so disappointed in him? I’m worried I’m going to resent him for leaving me to go through this alone whilst he works. I can’t help but feel surely nothing work related is more important than your fiancè going through an abortion? Or am I being dramatic/selfish or immature in my thinking?

I feel guilty enough that we’re in this situation, but to have to go through appointment on my own just feels overwhelming. I don’t want to see baby on screen then have to abort - particularly not on my own

Personally, yes I'd be fuming myself. I think nothing in work should ever be that important, over health (that of your own or family).. but that's my view of work, even my own. I know people can have different levels of responsibility, but work does not care about you. I learnt that a long time ago.
I'm sorry if you have to go through this alone. He maybe doesn't grasp how emotional it can be.

If your main reason for abortion is due to the PE, then I'd suggest you go to the consultants appointment with an open mjnd.

The reason I say this is my mother had several PE's before me and was on lifelong treatment to prevent more. Then she became unexpectedly pregnant. There were discussions about whether it was safe for her to continue, and she was advised she could but they had to switch her medication to heparin for the pregnancy. That was about 40 years ago, and here I am.

So it might be that the GP just doesn't know enough about the options to be able to adequately advise you.

I think that's shocking of him OP. I would insist he has to come. He doesn't even sound worth keeping just bin him and let him go to his work party!