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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Post abortion blues

1 reply

VE8907 · 06/10/2025 06:19

I had an abortion in early July, it was not an easy decision and feel like I am becoming more depressed. The only way to cope right now for me has been to just work endless hours, do lots of overtime and make myself busy at work so I don't have to think about anything. With my partner we have given ourselves a timeline to start trying for a baby a year since the abortion and it has helped me a lot to cope, but I am becoming increasingly scared that he is going to change his mind. I realise more and more I actually really wanted this pregnancy and am angry that I ended it. Me and my partner have not been really intimate much since as he has become too scared of any accidents, and that makes me feel even worse. I don't enjoy my hobbies anymore, all I can think about are ways to escape my life and get closer to finally meeting my baby, as I have said, I am scared my partner is going to change his mind, especially since I have become quite miserable. I have 4 days off work now, day 1 at home and already looking forward to going back just so I can forget. I have random moments even at work where I just start crying out of nowhere. I desperately want my baby back, I am keeping a track of how far along I'd be. Feeling like I have killed something that could have been the best thing that ever happened to me.

OP posts:
SilverScales · 08/10/2025 03:39

I'm so sorry for what you've been through and thank you for your honesty, @VE8907. There are so many millions of women around the world who are going through the same thing you are. The attitude is that you can always have another baby any time, but abortion is never a reset to the way things were before. There's no way to really know how you'll feel afterward, and it seems to me that most mums who have aborted are surprised by how difficult it is, especially if their partner is not sharing in that pain. Does your partner realize how much this is affecting you? He is the person who should be there the most for you. You shouldn't have to hide your suffering from him.

There are many mums on this board who are dealing with grief after abortion, I'm sure someone will respond to your post in time. There's a good site where you can also seek healing: https://www.archtrust.org.uk/

I hope you will be able to find peace, not blame yourself, and that you will have the baby you want so much one day. Take care of yourself, dear. hugs to you

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