I had an abortion in early July, it was not an easy decision and feel like I am becoming more depressed. The only way to cope right now for me has been to just work endless hours, do lots of overtime and make myself busy at work so I don't have to think about anything. With my partner we have given ourselves a timeline to start trying for a baby a year since the abortion and it has helped me a lot to cope, but I am becoming increasingly scared that he is going to change his mind. I realise more and more I actually really wanted this pregnancy and am angry that I ended it. Me and my partner have not been really intimate much since as he has become too scared of any accidents, and that makes me feel even worse. I don't enjoy my hobbies anymore, all I can think about are ways to escape my life and get closer to finally meeting my baby, as I have said, I am scared my partner is going to change his mind, especially since I have become quite miserable. I have 4 days off work now, day 1 at home and already looking forward to going back just so I can forget. I have random moments even at work where I just start crying out of nowhere. I desperately want my baby back, I am keeping a track of how far along I'd be. Feeling like I have killed something that could have been the best thing that ever happened to me.