My husband and I have twin daughters age 6.5. Without going into detail, the pregnancy was extremely complicated and they were born prematurely with a long stint in NICU. They then have severe reflux for over a year and were very ‘unsettled’ babies. The whole thing was very traumatic and looking back I defintely had PTSD/PND which I guess I have never got to the bottom on/treated. Over the years we have discussed having a third but I think it’s because I wanted a more ‘normal’ time and perhaps a healing baby. Anyway, when the girls were 3.5 we decided to go for it, I had a miscarriage which was very upsetting but I also felt a sense of relief in a strange way. That put us off trying and we didn’t discuss it again until about a year ago and we’ve been on the fence for a while but decided at the start of the year we would be happy with the family we have and put everything we have into the girls. We have an amazing but hectic life. DH travels a lot for work and I work school hours and there never seems to be enough time in the day etc. I have now discovered I am unexpectedly pregnant at 5wks. I am totally freaking out and can’t help but think I don’t want this, I don’t want to go to back to the baby days, don’t want to risk go backing to potential PND. I’m worried about the age gap and how it will affect the twins. I was just starting to feel myself again and hate the thought of ruining our family dynamic. I also worry something would be wrong with the baby that would require additional needs which would again impact the children I already have. My gut is telling me not to go through with it but I also hate the thought of termination. What if I instantly regret it!? But every day I just wish this wasn’t happening. I just don’t know what to do. My husband is extremely supportive either way but I know part of him is a bit excited which makes it even harder