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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

2 years post termination

2 replies

MyTealBee · 16/09/2025 00:31

Hello, I’m just looking for some advice or kind words. Please don’t judge me, I judge myself enough already.

2 years ago I had a termination I felt pressured into my family (not my partner). It’s a decision I didn’t want, and whilst I can acknowledge that the circumstances weren’t right etc, I can say it wasn’t “best” for us. We so desperately wanted our baby and I never stop thinking about them. I feel empty without them and stuck on the “what-ifs”. Anyway, every month I convince myself I’m pregnant and that all my PMS symptoms are actually early pregnancy. It never is, because I’m on contraception and the chances are incredibly slim. My logical brain can understand that, but I can’t convince myself of it and get carried away. I’m then left feeling low, empty and upset every time my period arrives. It’s not the right time for us to consider TTC yet but that doesn’t take away from that desire. All I ever wanted is to be a Mum and to know I took that chance away from myself just destroys me. Has anybody else experienced this, is it normal or even healthy this far post termination? It all feels quite debilitating at times.

OP posts:
SilverScales · 16/09/2025 03:51

Hello @MyTealBee, I'm so sorry for what you've been through. It is very common to feel intense grief and loss for years or even decades after an abortion. It is a genuine loss, all the more so because that child was very much wanted by you and your partner.

I hope you will soon be able to have the baby you yearn for. I don't know what obstacles you need to overcome, but I pray that you'll be able to go off your birth control and have your baby one day. It was wrong of your family to push you into aborting, no woman should ever be forced to do that. They may have thought they were doing the best thing for you, but you're the one who has to live with the reality of the abortion more than anyone else. I'm so sorry for the pain you feel with every period. I hope you can be gentle with yourself, believe in yourself, and know that there are better times ahead.

There is a web page that might be therapeutic for you, it is hurtbyabortion.org. It could help you see that many share the pain you're experiencing. Sending you hugs and warm thoughts, dear.

MyTealBee · 16/09/2025 12:01

SilverScales · 16/09/2025 03:51

Hello @MyTealBee, I'm so sorry for what you've been through. It is very common to feel intense grief and loss for years or even decades after an abortion. It is a genuine loss, all the more so because that child was very much wanted by you and your partner.

I hope you will soon be able to have the baby you yearn for. I don't know what obstacles you need to overcome, but I pray that you'll be able to go off your birth control and have your baby one day. It was wrong of your family to push you into aborting, no woman should ever be forced to do that. They may have thought they were doing the best thing for you, but you're the one who has to live with the reality of the abortion more than anyone else. I'm so sorry for the pain you feel with every period. I hope you can be gentle with yourself, believe in yourself, and know that there are better times ahead.

There is a web page that might be therapeutic for you, it is hurtbyabortion.org. It could help you see that many share the pain you're experiencing. Sending you hugs and warm thoughts, dear.

Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean more than I could tell you ❤️

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