Pregnant in blended family

[Orangebee3]

I am pregnant with my first baby but my partner has 2 already (4,6). We have only been together for 9 months and currently live 45 minutes away. My partner is going through a divorce at the moment (they were already separated when we got together) which seems to be growing arms and legs and I have no idea how it is going to play out but it is very angry and messy. The current set up means that my partner has his kids 50/50 and he only moved out of the marital home just before we met so the existing kids are still adjusting. We have talked about us all moving in together if we have the baby in order to make sure he can bond with the baby and I/the baby have support but I am so scared about the idea of going from living alone to moving in with him, his 2 kids and a new baby all at once and I’m very aware of the impact this would/could have on the existing kids and the divorce (how his ex would react and behave). This is obviously a far from ideal situation to have a new baby in. Does anyone have any similar experience and what have they been? Positives, negatives? Any advice? I am 10 weeks and currently have a SA booked for next week but am terrified of regretting it.

How are you doing, orangebee? I was wondering how old you are, and if you want to be a mum. Even if things don't work out with this partner, this baby could be a good thing to happen in your life. It's true that many people feel deep regret after an abortion. The brain may say, "we can always have another at a better time," but the heart may say, "I want this baby, the one I'm carrying now, and we can't simply replace it later." Different people come to different conclusions, I hope you can hear your own inner voice clearly. If you decide that you do want this child I hope you can find a way to make it work.

@Orangebee3 just saw your other post where you said you are 37 and want this baby. You got a lot of good advice in that thread and I feel like you might want to act as if this is your only chance to have a baby. Many women do have babies when they are in their 40s but the chance of miscarriage gets higher. Plus there's no way of knowing if you and this partner will stay together, or if you'll meet someone else in the next few years. As someone in the other thread said, all that really matters is what you want, as you are the one who will directly have to live with the consequences of abortion. Only you can make this choice but I really don't want you to abort out of anxiety and then be wishing you could turn back the clock. Be strong and trust in yourself.

@Orangebee3 I personally wouldn't move in together. Not only would it impact your finances. I dont think your relationship would survive so soon on. It's too much too early. But if you want the baby I would have it.