I recently had a MA.
To put things into perspective, I had been dating a man 20 years older than me. I had been feeling slightly fed up of the relationship and was thinking of walking away before I found out I was pregnant.
I am 31. He said he would support me whatever I decided but he really did not want a child as he already has 4 older children, I have none.
I had been seeing him for a year but our relationship did not start off on good terms. We have been on and off after him cheating and other stuff (including drinking a lot of alcohol). He knew I always wanted a child but still pursued me and when it happened he said he didn’t want it but would support me (if that would have lasted).
I felt trapped into a corner. My parents didn’t approve of him but wanted me to keep the child and raise it alone, however that wouldn’t have worked as he has a large family who are well known and they all knew. My options were, stay with him and try to raise the child although I would have got fed up with the drinking and most likely lack of support. Bring the child up on my own which quite frankly I could have done but then I know he wouldn’t have let me move on as he has a history of violence so I was worried he would stop me.
I was also thinking that my child would have an older father and they would have to suffer the heartbreak of that. I honestly felt like I had no other option but I have always wanted a child.
I feel regret over the abortion because I feel like I have been selfish and evil and it goes against everything I have ever believed in. I am a churchgoer and I just can’t believe I have done this but my future was looking rather bleak.
Since the MA he said we made the wrong choice but he has said he loves me so much but definitely no children, so I have now decided to end it.
I was just looking for some advice on whether I did the right thing with the MA. I am honestly traumatised and just keep thinking of the ‘what ifs’