Just seeking advice /others opinions. I know it's a very personal decision. But partner and I spent 3 years ttc and another year of ivf on the NHS, one failed round, one miscarriage and one gorgeous miracle baby. We only had 3 embryos. I had a lovely pregnancy until the end where I became really unwell with preeclampsia that quickly turned into hellp syndrome. I had an emergency c section at 37 weeks and our baby was in NICU for first few days of his life. He's a healthy, happy, smiley delight and I'm enjoying motherhood so so much. I just turned 39 and ds is 3 months.
The big question is do we go for a second? We want to decide by the time in 40 as it would mean another egg collection so don't want to put it off too long. Considerations are obviously how stressful would it be having two close together, would it pull my attention away from my ds. We'd have to pay and do the whole process again from egg collection and obviously thefe is the risk of going through it all and not being successful. Our house is more conducive to a 3 person fam, could potentially extend. Money and our age and the emotional journey of it all, along with my traumatic birth makes me think I should count my blessings and focus on what I have. The health side of things was defo scary at the end of my pregnancy, so would I just be putting myself at risk.
On the other hand, I am so loving being a mama, I think it would be lovely to have a little family unit and for ds to have a sibling. DH is open but might lean towards one and done. My family are quite dysfunctional and not tight knit so there is defo a part of me that wants to create a healthy family unit of our own. I'm already feeling sad that ds is getting big so quick, trying to savour every moment. A part of me gets jealous of friends that are getting pregnant a second time, which may be bizarre. I think if age, money, health and space weren't factors then I'd defo want 2 😂 but life is a bit more complicated than that.
Lots of people say you just know. I'm trying to just let it all simmer in the background and enjoy ds, but I honestly can't make sense of what's the best choice. Maybe you can't be so practical about these things, but finding it hard figuring out what my heart is telling me. I wouldn't want to do anything that would hinder the development and happiness of my ds... So having them so close in age would impact him, but maybe there's positives to being close in age?
Any wisdom, advice, anecdotes, own experiences are welcome!