Hi I am currently very confused and anxious. I am 32 and nearly 6weeks pregnant.
I have no support from family as have isolated myself with depression over the past few years. And I don’t currently work, I receive benefits rent a small apartment with my dog and the ‘father’ doesn’t want anything to do with me and has pressured me to take the first tablet last night. Although I think this could be the right decision, I am very unsure and him pressuring me made it a lot worse. I ended up asking him to leave (which he wouldn’t do initially I had to get upset to a family member and leave myself).
I have had two MAs in the past one in 2016 and was in hospital to be monitored due to a risk of fainting/syncope.
the second was 2020 start of covid I did it at home but passed out which was scary. I don’t have many friends because I’ve isolated myself and other than love and care I don’t have much I can offer a child at this point in my life, but felt so awful after taking the first pill yesterday. My only family is my grandmother who will not help me and says I will be on my own, and best option is to abort like I have before. I have no kids and would like to have them in future but this is obviously a bad situation.. the ‘father’ has also threatened me and I feel guilty because I told him it was a safe time of the month and it wasn’t. I was pushing to not use protection as I thought it would make us feel closer as he often with holds affection or makes me feel bad - so stupid I know - and part of me thinks did I subconsciously want to become pregnant? Which makes the guilt 100x worse. He already has a child and has always told me he doesn’t want more kids. We were using condoms before and I had offered to go on the pill but never did it. I feel like such a let down to everyone and myself, I guess I am just looking for advice or support. I have considered trying to see if the pregnancy could continue but maybe it’s my hormones and anxiety causing further confusion and probably too late as I have taken the first tablet. I have a day to decide if I take the next lot.