Massively struggling

[Anxious24]

Due date here. Massively regret abortion. My life feels over. I was so happy before this. Have 2 children 4 and just 2. And a husband who wanted baby. I can’t move on. I wake up with the sudden reality of everything and think about it all the time. I’m under psychiatry. You would not recognise me a year ago. I did it out of fear of not coping. Hyperemesis and then not coping afterwards. This is way way worse. I think maybe if I get pregnant it’ll help but it’s unlikely I’m 39 and will
it it’s not same baby

Are you on medication?

Yes but not doing anything

What are you taking and how long for? What about counselling? Have you thought about a cat or adoption?

Max dose since Jan. have had counselling too masses of it
its horrific

@Clangershome have you been through this? No idea how anyone copes

Yes. I’m not coping currently. It is really awful that there is no forewarning of this. Just starting meds. What I will say though if you are that stressed that might go against falling pregnant so can you try to be calmer about it? Meditation? Talking and walking with a friend?

Yes super stressed think pregnancy unlikely. I pray for it though. I’m sorry you’re in it too

I’m sorry you are like this also. Which area do you live?

midlands

I'm praying for both of you. Here's a link where you can share your story and read those of others. It's heartbreaking to think how many mums are grieving all around the world. https://hurtbyabortion.org/

My heart goes out to you. It might be something that always hurts a bit, but it will get better. Your reasons were valid, a choice made out of love for your existing children, and the pain you feel is a sign of the loving person you are. The tiny embryo will have felt and known no pain - you carry that pain for it in your heart. Bht you have done nothing wrong.

If you want another baby then of course you should be able to have one, I hope. Although it won't be an easy path.

Try to fill your days with other things in the mean time and focus on what you do have, rather than what you don't. You have two healthy children who love, need and depend on you. You made a tough decision because you wanted what was best for them, don't let it have been made in vain.

Anxious24- how are you coping now? I still have my good and bad days, I would be 16 weeks now. If I think about it, like tonight, I still just feel completely heartbroken, then other days I know it may have been the right decision. That doesn’t stop the pain though. Like the poster above said, I try to just get through each day focusing on caring for the children I already have, I think of how much they need me to be strong. I hope you are finding some kind of peace x