Delaying termination, I just cannot decide, 3 under the age of 5 & I need to share my pros & cons

[13MAPARTHELL]

Cons
Finances
Will I cope mentally
4 year old has difficult behaviours could be ADHD/ASD
Already stretched thin
Car is too small
House will be too small when older
kids starting school, will need attention
stalling earning more at work
relationship might not survive another
no support
3 is a crowd? Someone left out
less family days out maybe
sleep deprivation
outnumbered
starting to lose weight, 3 stone loss

pros
extra sibling for support & play in kids lives
4&5 year age gaps, time to save costs when old
larger family
free childcare from 9 months
mat leave over period kids start school
mat leave to do more uni studies
tubes tied during elective section
fun times
kids may have better relationship dynamic
gut feeling to not terminate, does this mean ?

I have huge regret terminating my 3rd please I wouldn’t want anyone to go through this hell

I'm so glad you're giving yourself time to think this over.

One thing I can comment on is that I was the oldest of three girls and it was a nice dynamic. I was 7 years old, and the middle sister was 4 when the youngest was born. The "someone left out" scenario rarely happened, each sibling had a unique relationship with the other two, and as we got older, I actually was much closer to my youngest sister than the middle one (we still are best friends with so much in common). Your gut feeling not to terminate is extremely important as well. Having your tubes tied after a c-section could be a good choice, as you would feel like you could really plan for the future with certainty. And there are ways to help a stretched budget like breastfeeding if you can manage it, and cloth nappies if you have a washer at home (these worked well for me). This is a good list, and will help you to weed out which are valid concerns and which are far enough in the future that you can deal with them if/when they become a problem. Many of the best things in life are not as we planned them, and risky. I hope you can decide the best way forward for you and your family.

I had my 3rd last year, when she was born my other two were 2 and 3. I was not excited when I found out I was pregnant and I’d say it took me a good 5 months to start looking forward to it.
my partner really didn’t want to have another as we had so much on our plates already.
But my god am I glad we had her 🥰 Easiest baby by far, watching the 3 of them together just makes us so happy. She was meant to be.
The car is a pain, we have a 7 seater and it’s still a pain, so look into what your options are.
My daughter was also about to start school, she loves it that she has a baby sister and 3 other mums in her class were also expecting their thirds. All the kids in her class love the babies, it’s honestly so lovely!
Buy second hand bits, and then when you’re done sell them on, clear the space. Use Marketplace, Vinted etc.
Days out are expensive, go to nice parks, forest walks, feed the ducks, farms are fairly cheap. Don’t put yourself through unnecessary long stressful journeys.

When I found out I was pregnant my husband made it sound like we were expecting our 8th child, and it would be silly. But now my kids are in school I’ve realised how 3 kids is completely normal, I’m one of 3, he’s one of 3, and how loads of the early years mums are having or considering their thirds.

I also work 5 days a week from home, so if I can do it you can do it x

I have three and had a very difficult early pregnancy with my 3rd where I felt everything but excited. All your cons are true and I do struggle with some of it sometimes. But I wouldn't change it, somehow it's still better like this. They adore each other, the baby is so loved, and I'd feel such a sense of loss if I only had two.

How are you getting on?