So confused about third baby

[gincat87]

Hi everyone

I am 38 and just found out I am pregnant with a third baby, this has come as a complete shock as my other children are 9 and 6. A couple of years back i was desperate for another and we tried but since it never happened I just assumed I wasn't as fertile anymore and now its happened I don't know if its what I want anymore. My broodiness went away and now when i think of a baby i just feel a sense of dread. I feel too old, my husband is 6 years older I have had depression this year and had to take time away from work.

My husband works away a lot of weekends so I am a solo parent a lot of the time and the thought of adding another seems so overwhelming. Then there's all the sleepless nights, I worry my baby could have a disability (close family member does) and this would effect my other two childrens lives. I could keep listing all the reasons not to have this baby. I booked a consultation for an abortion on friday but then I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone. I have rebooked for this week.

What is wrong with me? Why can't I make this decision? Husband is happy with whatever I choose but in someway this makes it harder still.

I guess I just want some advice, shared experiences? Im desperate.

Hello gincat, I don't know how far along you are, but I think you should cancel the abortion and think about it longer. Saying you were "desperate for another" is a strong sign that you might want this baby after all. I could see you being anxious if your husband is gone some weekends, but on the plus side, your other two children are old enough that they are not helpless and can take care of themselves somewhat and even be a help around the house. If they don't already have simple chores, this could be a good time to increase their responsibilities. They might be excited to have a new brother or sister! And you should be careful because while having a new baby can lead to post-partum depression, aborting can also lead to feelings of trauma and grief. There have been many women on this board who really wanted a baby, panicked when they got pregnant, aborted, and then knew they had made the wrong choice. Many immediately start trying to get pregnant again. And even if your husband isn't enthusiastic about another baby, he's supportive and I'm sure you would both love this new child as much as you do your older two. Please give yourself some time so that you don't do something you regret.