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Pregnancy choices

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When the hardest decision is the right one

3 replies

ohmybaby · 18/05/2025 22:28

I’m sorry if this triggers or upsets anyone - talking about abortion.

I’m 3 - almost 4 - weeks pregnant, a total slip up. Only tested as I had a hunch and was planning to take norethisterone to delay my period next week as I’m abroad, but had heard it can be damaging in early pregnancy.

2 x early clear blue tests, 2 faint lines.

I’ll be 35 next month and have 2 DDs, nearly 6 and nearly 3. We’d made peace with being “done”. DH was meant to have a vasectomy last year but bottled out last minute - suffice to say he’s rebooked it.

I have a counselling call with BPAS tomorrow and a medical consultation on Wednesday… I fly Thursday (our first ever holiday abroad as a family, cannot believe the timing) and will likely have a medical abortion when I come back. I’ll be around 5 weeks.

I cannot believe I’m in this position, but ultimately know we can’t do this. The cost - financially, physically, emotionally. I had PPD with both, my mum is going through chemo, my dad had a stroke earlier in the year and I’m on a FTC so no permanent job. And I’m so grateful for life now; what we have, our beautiful healthy girls. There are no guarantees we’ll be lucky again.

The biggest thing for me is the impact on my DDs and knowing I will be a worse mum for rolling the dice again and stretching myself so thin.

I’m planning to update on my journey because this is heartbreaking but necessary; I want other women in this position to have something to refer to, hopefully a positive outcome and experience - as I have read so many horror stories. And for anyone else in similar shoes, I see you and you’re not alone - whatever you decide.

When the hardest decision is the right one
OP posts:
Clangershome · 22/05/2025 17:20

What have you decided to do?

ohmybaby · 22/05/2025 22:06

Sadly I didn’t get to decide… started bleeding Monday. Nature made the call. Feel a mixture of sadness and relief; bittersweet. DH has a vasectomy booked to avoid it happening again… there’s always a corner of your heart that wonders “what if?”

But it wasn’t meant to be.

OP posts:
SilverScales · 28/05/2025 14:33

I'm sorry for what you went through, but glad you will have peace now (and that your husband is taking steps to make sure you're not in this position again.) My heart goes out to you.

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