Anxiety

[Anxious24]

39 fell pregnant without trying. Horrendous anxiety and aborted at 12 weeks had medicine which failed then surgery. I’m devastated. It has destroyed my life. I desperately want to be pregnant. I worried I couldn’t cope but definitely could it was the hyperemesis and hormones making me not think straight. I pray to fall pregnant this month it is unmanageable going on like this

I’m so sorry for you. I also fell pregnant at 39 last year and aborted at 8 weeks as I had such awful perinatal anxiety and sickness. I couldn’t see the wood for the trees and couldn’t comprehend or contemplate staying pregnant. I am now 40.

Most of the time I am at peace with the decision I made and I try to remind myself that the way I felt was real. Its only with hindsight when all the risk and consequence (of being pregnant) is removed, that I think I maybe I could have waited and overcome how I felt. I didn’t feel like that when I was pregnant though.

Its so incredibly hard and I know from your other post, as well as this one, that you are hoping to fall pregnant again, I really hope you do. But most of all, you need to be kinder to yourself. When we regret a decision, what we really regret is the positive things that could have happened if we hadn’t made that decision, but who knows what might have happened with either of our pregnancies, we might have carried on and felt worse, we might have miscarried…etc etc. For me, I try to balance out all the good things that might have come from not aborting, by knowing that in that moment, i made the choice I felt was right. Please talk to a professional, I think you would benefit from it.

@MyUmberSeal that was a lovely mesage to send. I'm a year on since my termination and when I'm in the depths of sadness I don't know why but I come to this page and it helps at times. This message helped me when reading

@Anxious24 I hope you're okay hun . Take your time and don't rush the year after is the hardest but be kind to yourself and try process what has happened 🩷