Just found out I’m pregnant

[Cantbelievethisishappeniny]

I actually can’t believe this is happening. DH and I have been having a really rough time of it recently, been on the verge of ending the relationship but decided to fight for our relationship and are now doing marriage counselling. We have only DTD once in about a year… so that would make me about 4 weeks.

Together 13 years, two DC, have a lot of love together... I don’t know what to do. It’s definitely not the right time to have another baby. Although I’m pro-choice I’ve always said termination wouldn’t be my choice. But my mental health is pretty awful at the moment and I struggled badly with PND with both DC, always said I never wanted to go through that or put my family through that again. I don’t know if I’ve got it in me to be a parent to a third… also never wanted three, used to joke a third would mean there would have to be a fourth.

I feel sick. Please help.

Can’t edit to add, we used a condom!

Hi there,

I didn’t want to read and run.
Totally normal for you to feel panicked, especially considering you had used protection so this is totally unplanned. How are you feeling today?
Have you told your husband?

You’re still very early days so give yourself some time to let the news sink in and digest, and figure out what you want to do. There is no right or wrong, but try not to act out of panic just yet xx

If you always told yourself you'd never abort, it's important to really examine where that belief came from and what it means to you. Many people feel that a growing foetus is a person, and if deep down you believe that, it will be very hard to cope after termination. Like Mummaof2 said, if you say to yourself "I'll terminate quickly and worry about the consequences later," you could be setting yourself up for a tough time.

If postnatal depression is your main concern, you might want to talk to your doctor about medications that are available. My friend took one last year that was recently approved and it really helped her, it is called zuranolone. Take your time and let the shock of the pregnancy wear off before you make your choice. I'm glad you're getting marriage counselling, maybe the counselor could help you two talk through the possibility of this pregnancy as well. I hope you are able to strengthen your relationship, all my best to you.

Thank you for your kind replies. Perhaps in the best possible outcome (although still horrible), it appears that this is a chemical pregnancy. I have reached out to my GP for some emotional support.

Glad to hear you're okay and taking the proper steps. Hope all is well with you and your family. 💙