Unexpected position

[Jassummer]

Hi, I found out last week I am unexpectedly pregnant (4-5 weeks). I have 7 year old twins who were born very prematurely and have additional needs and my partner and I have been certain ‘we are done’ for years.
I never wanted to find myself in this position where I need to make such a choice. I have a consultation with BPAS tomorrow and I’m just wondering if people could share their experiences of medical or surgical termination or if in fact you decided to continue with the pregnancy? I am terrified of doing it all again with a big age gap, it wasn’t in our plans, the potential of premature birth and NICU stays. Im a big believer in everything happens for a reason but I honestly don’t think I can do it again. I only tested (wasn’t even due my period yet) as I had such severe nausea and came down with a cold suddenly and this is what happened when pregnant with the twins. My symptoms are so intense for so early im also concerned that it’s perhaps more then one again.

Please, if anyone can share experience of being in this position I’d be forever grateful.

Hello Jassummer, sorry you're facing this hard choice. I wouldn't let the age gap be a big deciding factor, in the long run I don't think this really matters so much. And if you're wondering if you are pregnant with multiples, I read that ultrasound scans can often detect this at 6-7 weeks, sometimes as early as 5 weeks, so that is something you could have checked out. Sometimes pregnancy centers provide scans for free. You said you're frightened of premature birth, do you have any health conditions that would make it more likely? Because as I'm sure you know, twins are normally born at least a month early (sounds like yours were much earlier than that), but if you have a single baby there's a much less chance that would happen. It sounds like you don't yet have all the information to make your best informed choice, so I hope you will take things slow, talk to your husband, and try to imagine your life with another child, both the bads and the goods. Sometimes the best things in life are not what we planned. And if you do end up aborting, maybe your husband wants to look into vasectomy. Mine had one and it was not that bad to recover from, and eleven years later he's had no complications. All my best to you and your family!