Doubts around abortion

[doubtingtab]

I have found out this week that I am very early pregnant.
I have one child (by choice) after a hideously dramatic birth, this child is nearly 8.
I know that it’s okay to have an abortion, and I have the pills by post on the way, but I am struggling with feeling selfish for making this choice.
On the face of it there is no reason not to continue this pregnancy - we have a stable home which would be big enough with a bit of shuffling around, we are comfortably financially, have a good marriage etc.
We do however have no family support locally (all in another country) and DH has a high powered corporate job so I’d be doing 80% of it myself.
I feel like my head is saying take the pills, it’s very early and just move on from it, but there’s still a little part of me that feels so sad and wishes this could be a happy thing for our family.
I am in my mid 30s so I am shit scared of something going wrong if I did continue the pregnancy, or having a child with difficulties which then affects our existing childs life.
We have an incredibly blessed life and I think I’m too scared to take the risk of rolling the dice again. But I am concerned that if I take the tablets I won’t feel relief but will really grieve, and feel guilty forevermore if our child asks about siblings etc
DH says he will support whatever I choose, which is obviously the absolutely correct thing to say and I love him for it, but I am terrified of making the ultimate decision by myself.

please help me get my thoughts straight on this :(

Hello, I don't have a lot of time right now, but I wanted to say to take your time with this decision. There's not much difference whether you're five weeks along, or seven, or nine, but the most important thing is that you allow yourself the time to think this through as there are so many women around the world who are wishing they had considered the choice more, rather than making a quick decision out of anxiety and fear. Keep talking to your husband, and don't only consider the next year or two, but five, ten, twenty years down the line. Mid thirties is still a very high chance of a normal, healthy baby. I hope you will be able to think this through and come to a decision you feel the best about.

Please don’t do it I can’t function post abortion
at all I am struggling to not kill myself

There's no right or wrong answer and ultimate whatever you do will end up being the 'right' thing for your family. I think one thing to bare in mind is that (unless you have any underlying health or genetic issues) you are far, far more likely to have a healthy baby than one with health problems. Are you scared of the idea of risk or is it more than that? Don't make your decision based on "what ifs" and anxieties.

You do need to be sure, as it's not a reset button to have an abortion. You need to be certain that you don't want another child. I'd advise you to write a list of reasons, pros and cons, and explore them as much as you can from all angles. And speak to anyone you trust in real life - I know you're husband is trying to be supportive but actually it's a big heavy thing to say it's all down to you, don't keep it all inside, look for support.

If you do decide not to go ahead with the pregnancy, I recommend you write yourself a letter or record yourself a video explaining the reasons why, so that if ever you look back and wobble you can remind yourself and not doubt your reasons.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Apologies for typos.

Please take your time and think about it . I deeply regret mine. I sobbed taking the pills and then after it happened I plundged Into a deep depression every day absolutely sobbing on my knees in pain I can't describe in complete shock with the decision I had made so quickly. The horror the pain I was shattered . Please take your time before you make your decision . If I knew what was on the other side I would have never done it. Mind yourself be gentle and take your time xxx 🩷