6 weeks pregnant.. what to do

[Whatwouldyoudo26]

It's only been a couple days since discovering I was pregnant.

Deep down I think it's best to not continue this pregnancy although that breaks me inside.

I never wanted to take this route. I have a child already and love the feeling of being pregnant.

However, one slip up has caused me to become pregnant with someone I would rather not be..

I honestly don't mind going in as a single mum. I actually find it more straightforward than someone raining on my parade/causing more stress which is what has happened before.

However I don't think my situation is right, and whilst I'm only 6 weeks, I think I should take the pills before it only becomes even harder.

My question is not only what would you do in this situation? But would you mind sharing any experience you have had with it? What was it like?

I'm worried I'm going to regret it, but is it better than having a baby from someone who I could pick to better to father it?

Beating myself up about it all but can't turn back the clock.

Hello, it sounds like you have a huge decision to make. Obviously only you can know what's best in this situation, but we can help you talk it out. What are your main worries about the baby's father? How long have you been together? Do you think he would be content to let you have sole custody, or do you think he would want to be involved in the child's life? How old is your current child? Have you wanted to have a sibling for them? These are all "big picture" questions that it's good to think about. Also, are you having any feelings about how hard coping with the abortion would be?

Usually mums love their babies no matter how questionable the father is. It would help to have a little more detail on why you're displeased with him, and what you fear he might do to your life. If this second baby is what you really want, I hope you won't let your fears take that away from you. Hope to hear from you again, dear.

Hello thank you for your kind reply.
In all honesty, we barely know each other. We're not together and was a one off.

He definitely won't be interested and wouldn't want any part of it as he has his own life separate going on.

My son is 5 years old and I have always thought it would be nice to give him a sibling. It's just this situation is far from ideal..

I haven't been in your situation, but I knew a woman who was, she lived near me and was single, working as a paramedic. One weekend she was at a bar and ended up bringing home a man she hardly knew, ended up getting pregnant. She did want to become a mum, and thought this was a chance that came at a good time in her life, even if she was not interested in a relationship with the father. She told him that she was pregnant, he was the father, and that she preferred he had nothing to do with her or the baby, and he was fine with that arrangement. She gave birth to a lovely baby girl, and her mother helped out a bit with childcare. Her daughter is now grown and attending school of law. By the time my friend met a nice man and got married, she was already over 40 years old and decided she was happy with just the one child, as her husband had two sons from another relationship. I hope that if you would really like to have a sibling for your son, that you'll consider this unplanned pregnancy to be a blessing. You sound like a strong person, and I hope you'll be able to listen to your heart and make the best choice for yourself.

You will regret an abortion it has destroyed me honestly has

I’m not in exactly the same position but also having to make a decision.
im 38 and have 4 children and have just discovered I am pregnant about 4.5 weeks.

mentally I don’t feel I want another baby and the same for my husband.
I lost my dad in January and can’t imagine having a baby he won’t meet.
i have huge anxiety about the thought of having another baby but feel guilty about this.
abortion was somthing I never ever thought I could do so to be even think about it makes me feel I really don’t want to go ahead with the pregnancy.
I look at my 4 children and feel so content my eldest will be starting her GCSEs and youngest starting school in September and just feel we are getting some life back.
am I being selfish !

Hi Mummyc123, you might do better to make your own thread so you can get responses tailored to your situation. But one thing you said that is important, is "abortion is something I never ever thought I could do." You should take a long look at what your reasons are. From what I've seen over many years, the guilt and regret when people who believe abortion is wrong get one anyway, is massive. If you really believe that deep down, it doesn't seem to matter how many people say "it wasn't a baby so don't get so upset about it." You are the only one who will have to directly live with the consequences. I've seen people on the message boards saying it wasn't a big deal and they don't regret it. And there are others who feel so destroyed that they're trying to get pregnant again, or say that no amount of money or holidays can make up for the child they've lost. You need to listen closely to your heart and it will give you a clue of which side you'd most likely fall on. And only you can choose what is best for you from that point on. Hope you can successfully navigate this hard situation, and maybe your husband wants to get a vasectomy soon, whatever you end up choosing.

Thank you for your reply,
we are booking husband in for a vasectomy as soon as we can we have already discussed this and the fact I am even considering a termination makes me think that I really can’t go ahead as it’s not somthing in the past i would have.
x

Glad you are thinking this through very carefully, and that your husband is willing to do his part. Hope the answer will become clear for you.