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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Need non bias advice

3 replies

Daisy1990x · 23/03/2025 15:36

I've got myself into a bit of a pickle. My relationship was breaking down but I found out I'm pregnant just as this was becoming a reality . We are still together since telling him I'm pregnant but he doesn't want it and I can't decide if I do either. I understand his reasons for not its mainly the living situation and financials. We don't live together and we don't live close and not close to his family . He doesn't want to move in with me because of the commute he would then have to work and I don't want to move away because I have my little boy who goes to school here/his grandparents and good relationship with father. We did want babies but we wanted to settle down and purchase a house first . His reaction and how he treated me has completely made me realise I don't think the relationship is even saveable . I feel at a loss, I know I'll regret it if I choose termination as due to my age I wouldn't do this again . But the thought of doing this alone and the reality of how hard it is scares me too much as I've done it before. Just
Wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation ? I feel I won't find happiness having 2 kids with no free time , or I could make the choice for termination, close that book on the relationship and move on with my life .

OP posts:
Anxious24 · 23/03/2025 18:27

Don’t do it I have huge huge regret and no going back. I have had the most painful 4 months and not getting any better. Just praying for a baby but 39. It has destroyed me

how old are you?

‘I know I'll regret it if I choose termination as due to my age I wouldn't do this again’

Daisy1990x · 23/03/2025 18:47

Anxious24 · 23/03/2025 18:27

Don’t do it I have huge huge regret and no going back. I have had the most painful 4 months and not getting any better. Just praying for a baby but 39. It has destroyed me

how old are you?

‘I know I'll regret it if I choose termination as due to my age I wouldn't do this again’

Ah I'm sorry to hear your story . I am 34. I know I am still young, but 35 I know is my cut off for my own reasons. He knew that when we got together. I was single 4 years before I met him, It had sunk in It was unlikely id have more babies , but then I met him and it changed. I wouldn't see myself meeting someone else now and having kids so soon I'd like to get to know that person first and live together

OP posts:
SilverScales · 24/03/2025 22:35

Hi Daisy, well, I'm glad you found out before you married him that this man is not the one for you. I'm sure it still hurts though, especially if you were thinking you'd spend your lives together. You can still see this pregnancy as an opportunity though, especially if you've thought that your son would enjoy having a sibling. I can understand the worry of having to go it as a single mum, but in time your children would be able to play together and you may end up having a little more free time than you might otherwise. You mentioned grandparents, do you think they would have the time and energy to help you out? Or a friend who could trade babysitting time? Only you can decide what is the best action to take right now, but like you said, you should consider this very carefully as it might be your last chance and you don't want regret. Feel free to talk out your reasoning here, there are so many kind souls who will listen. Take care and be safe.

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