Pregnancy after abortion

[Anxious24]

Anyone pregnant after abortion? I hate myself. If you got pregnant do you mind saying your age, how long after termination and if it was medical/surgical please. I have huge perinatal anxiety and should have never been allowed to do it. I’m now under a psychiatrist

Also how you felt? I know it won’t take grief away but hoping if it happens it would take longing for baby

similar experience-i shouldnt have terminated. tried for a baby only a couple of months later and fell straight away. was too soon- i should have worked through my grief first but ever since i was pregnant i did feel a lot better. i had tricky times- but once he was here and is now over a year i rarely thinik about it. know i am lucky to have a second chance. he gave me back my life but even now i still feel a bit confused by what has happened over the last couple of weeks. during my pregnancy i got a lot of support from the perinatal team/counselling which helped. message if you need to

@Saskia2023 ive lost my job and destroyed my life. Barely.sleep. Can’t think in day. I died when the baby did. Not bonding with kids who cry a lot. I sit and cry every day

it really is the darkest of times and you feel so alone- are you getting any counselling/ptsd support? it wont feel like it at the moment but like any traumatic events it will gradually improve. are you in the uk as there are some specialist charities who can help?

Had counselling on antidepressants nothing is making it better. I think of suicide. So I’m under mental health team. Tried to get pregnant but not happened yet. Not sure if that’ll make it better or not @Saskia2023 have spoken to stillwaters and arch. I’ve tried everything to feel better.

40 so unlikely to happen.

I can’t even work I sit and cry. Can’t sleep at all 3/4 hours max so exhausted and can’t function. It’s been 4 months. I hope anyone reading this carries on. Abortion has ruined my life. This time last year was happiest I’d ever been now I’m lowest and just don’t want to be here

Was traumatising. Thought hadn’t worked then started bleeding heavily and ended up in hospital

The thing that is hardest is knowing someone is missing from our family

Hi,

So sorry to hear you're going through this. I felt similar this time two years ago. All you can do is hang on in there. I do think about 4-5 months was about the peak of it. Everyday I woke up with doom hanging over me and I remember thinking that I couldn't be alone in this pain. It has a name 'post abortion stress syndrome' - I genuinely believe that's what I had, maybe still have.

I did have another baby after it. I love my baby very much and he has made it easier, but I will say I think actually a lot of concerns I had were real and valid and life will be harder now in many ways. But I basically felt no option but to try for another baby, I had to have something good come out of all the pain. It also wasn't an easy journey with other natural losses along the way, which actually I think probably helped me come to terms with things too. I do still think about the abortion every day and I still grieve for who that baby would have/could have been, but it's not the same pain as it was, nothing even close. I try to remind myself that I can't know what could have been though. Life is good again now, but I wonder if I might have eventually got there again without another baby too.

Try and have some mantras to help yourself. Remember you are a good woman who is trying to do the best she can for her family.

@Redemption16 can I ask how long after you fell pregnant? 39 and worry won’t happen. How many weeks was your abortion? Medical or surgical? Sorry to ask

7 weeks, medical. I was 33. Fell pregnant fairly quickly afterwards, but then had an ectopic and a miscarriage before falling pregnant again. It all sounds a bit crazy looking back. It was a very weird time.

Baby was born around 18 months after the abortion.

Just wanted to comment as I’m looking for the same information.

I had an abortion 3 months ago and It’s on my mind all the time.

I have a son who’s 6 and every day I feel guilty about the sibling he would have had. I always thought we’d have more children, but me and my partner had our reasons for the decision we made. We cried and it was a heart wrenching decision.

I had an abortion in my early 20s and I know the feeling gets better and if I’m honest I don’t think about it much but this has hit me differently, it’s I don’t know if it’s because I now know what it’s like to have a child.

Ultimately we didn’t feel in the right position to bring another child in to the world and life being harder. Logically I know these will still be valid if we were to ever have another child.

I guess I was just looking to see if anyone had been in a similar situation where you did have another child after an abortion as currently in my head it makes me feel like a horrible person even thinking about it. I feel like this has made me want a child even more which I think sounds crazy.

The thoughts in my head are will I be judge or deemed irresponsible, I know in my last pregnancy they asked about previous pregnancy and terminations and the date of them. Will they question falling pregnant after having an abortion.

My head is just full of thoughts and feelings and it’s hard to turn them off.

Hey OP

Did things every get better?
I'm in a similar situation and struggling

I'm in a very similar situation and struggling a lot!

@Anxious24 Hi, OP how are you doing now?.

I thought I'd give you a different take. Fallen pregnant totally unplanned the father made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby and told me to abort. He made it clear even before I confirmed I was pregnant that I would be on my own should I keep. I already have 1 child to someone else from a previous relationship DC is 10. So falling pregnant from just the once was a huge shock. I've made the decision to have a termination this week because I have a job and 1 child to consider. No family support and I don't want to ruin our lives!

Sending love.