Recent abortion and quite down

[Yht]

Hi,
I've had a recent medical about at 3/4 weeks. It would have been a third baby. We were shocked. Stupidly using a period tracker. Initially we said we would manage but as time went on we realized we simply couldn't afford it. We had our two children in our 20s and we really didn't have any financial security, living week to week. Now we are in a position to start saving for their future and hopefully extend our home we are already growing out of. I want to take my kids on holiday. I want to build a rainy day fund. We don't have that but we can start seeing the light that we will be able to start building a future for our children.

I feel so guilty at what I had to do but I really couldn't see a way. Childcare would cripple us. I want to be able to give my children a good life, take them shopping, to the cinema, afford all their hobbies. A part of me feels so sad and guilty at what could have been. I just feel sad and angry at life right now. We both work full time, are always tired and yet we don't have much to show for it. What are we doing so wrong. The only thing I've bought for myself over the last few months is socks!

But when I hear about how other women were shocked finding out they were pregnant with their third but they made it work and now their family is complete, I feel like such a failure. I couldn't and gave up. My mind is just fried.

Sorry you are having a hard time. Remember, just because a decision is sad or feels bad, it doesn't mean it was wrong.

Just because other families made it work, that doesn't mean it would have been right for you. All families are different. There are many others out there who have made the same decision as you, and you did nothing wrong. If you were 3/4 weeks then it sounds like it must have been pretty much as soon as you found out - some women wouldn't have even known they were pregnant that early on, and who knows whether the pregnancy would have even worked out. Many embryos don't become babies for all sorts of reasons, whether natural or induced.

Allow yourself to grieve and be sad. This is a difficult time and you have to feel it to heal it. Make the decision worth it though, give you and your family the best life possible.

Good luck to you.