4 weeks pregnant - swaying between abortion and keeping

[Tink2007]

Sorry to write this here. Apart from my husband I have nobody to talk to.

We found out I am pregnant on Tuesday - I’ve just turned 4 weeks today. I’m 39 (will be 40 later in the year) and this would be our 4th child.

Our first instinct was a medical abortion as this was unplanned (failed contraception) and my last birth ended up in a Cat 1 Emergency Section because of a failed induction.

I called BPAS and they are sending all the treatment in the post. But today I am really wavering. We did always want 4 children before the last one’s birth. And I’m wondering if I can actually go ahead with the MA as the thought makes me want to cry.

Am I too old? Would a second c-section be that awfully risky? As I would want an elective section and think I’d be recommended to have one anyway.

I don't know what to do :(

I can’t advise on the c-section, but you are certainly not too old, you got pregnant after all!! MN is awash with posts from women a good few years older who have simple pregnancies, and healthy happy babies.

@MyUmberSeal Thank you. I remember them calling me a geriatric mum with my last one as turned 35 half way through! I was mortified. Lol.

It's good that you're really thinking this through, as many act quickly out of fear and panic but then start to examine their heart more closely. It sounds like this could be a blessing in disguise for you and your family. If I was you, I'd talk to a doctor about the "riskiness" of the second c-section and any other questions or concerns. It's good to have all the facts before coming to a decision, to know what is a valid worry and what is probably not.

I do think that abortion is not something every woman can do, and that is okay. Even if it seems to be the "logical" thing to do, it's in your hands, and it's your life, and I hope you won't let anyone push you in a direction your heart feels uneasy about. You have a good bit of time to think it over, take advantage of that. Hope things work out for the best, dear.

How did you get on with your decision? I hope you are happy either way.