Medical abortion 14 weeks

[KRP8]

Absolutely devastated to have come to the decision to terminate a twin pregnancy, this is a high risk pregnancy and I am not mentally physically or emotionally prepared to care for twins plus a 9 month old. Myself and partner came to this decision while being told the procedure would be done under general anaesthetic (surgical termination). I am now 13 weeks and 2 days, and have been waiting and waiting for an appointment. We have now been told that I will be medically induced and have to birth both babies without any sedation.
the thought of this alone is unbelievably traumatising and painful, unbearable even to think about, I do not know how I will handle this, but also know that a termination is pretty much my only option. Has anyone else experience a medical termination at this gestation? If so how did you cope during and after the procedure.
please no judgement, this is the hardest most devastating decision I will ever make in my life.

I'm so sorry you find yourself here. I had a medical termination at 14 + 1 as our baby was very poorly and unlikely to survive past 20 weeks.

I was given a tablet that stops the heartbeat then 2 days later I was admitted at 9am to deliver. I was given 4 tablets vaginally around 11am to soften the cervix and bring on labour. After 4 hours nothing was happening so I was given another smaller dose and within an hour I started with pains, they weren't horrendous but I did take oramorph and paracetamol to my memory. I was supported by a nurse the whole time and looked after very well. On the day I coped better than I expected but did go into a bit of shock afterwards. I delivered around 5pm. Unfortunately for me I was kept in as the placenta didn't deliver and had to be removed by hand, my iron levels went quite low so it was borderline transfusion, but thankfully I was discharged the next day with iron tablets.

I don't know how much detail you want in regard to the babies but do ask if you want to know anymore. I struggled to leave the hospital without him but my situation was different to yours.

Please just be kind to yourself, I know this is by no means an easy decision, you are very brave and stronger than you think. Everyone's situation is different and we all make decisions that are right for ourselves x

@TTCNO2AT44 thank you for your response and understanding. I’m so so sorry for your loss, I can’t believe there isn’t a better or nicer way for mothers in your position who have to terminate for medical reasons. Having to go through the entire process like that must have been so difficult and traumatising. I am truly sorry. We have had results from our downs Edward’s and Patau testing which has now revealed that twin b is higher risk for downs. As these twins share a placenta the option for selective reduction is not an option for us, having these results has just solidified to us that perhaps this really wasn’t meant to be. The decision is certainly not an easy one, but with so much at risk I know it is the right thing for us. We are just absolutely devastated that this was missed at our 7 week scan. Had I have known earlier that it was twins I think perhaps the whole process would be less traumatising. The guilt of this all is eating me alive. I truly would not wish this feeling on anyone. I hope you are okay after your experience of loss, good luck to you in your future and I hope you are blessed with a healthy baby xx

Oh my God, I can't imagine the procedure you are describing, I would be dreading something like that too. Has it happened yet or are you still waiting?

If it was just one baby, would you be thinking about keeping? If that's the case, would you consider letting the other go with an adoptive family? Many are willing to adopt even Down's babies. If there are risks to your health, perhaps a planned c-section could be done before the twins are full term. Just trying to think of anything to prevent you from having to endure the kind of abortion you are faced with. I hope that you can get through this with as little trauma as possible, it sounds like you have a good supportive partner and that makes so much difference. So sorry for all you are facing.

Hi, I am due to go in tomorrow for the first dose of medication. I had an extremely traumatic pregnancy with my first daughter, I also nearly died after giving birth. Drs have explained that I am very unlikely to carry to 30 weeks, meaning the babies would be facing some severe challenges. While I know that babies do survive this, the chances of me going into even earlier labour are high, the twins share one placenta which is riskier still. Another factor is financially we will not cope. And another being that the nearest hospital with a NICU who can actively help babies with such complex needs is hundreds of miles from us. There is so much at risk, not to mention our current daughter who is undergoing extensive texting for a neurological disorder. It feels like double the loss, because yes if it was just one baby we would struggle but we would be able to do it, now because there are two we’ve gone from having 2 children, to 3, back to 1 all in the space of a month. This has been an incredibly difficult and heartbreaking time, our decision has not been made lightly at all. I just know that the risks to myself, the pregnancy, the twins, my daughter and my relationship are all extremely high, and I do not think I would cope with the absolute lack of support we would receive. I wish I could say I had a huge village to help, and a good faith that everything would work out as it should. But having experienced loss and pain and suffering, I know that life doesn’t always work out for the best. My heart is broken, I’m seeing a counsellor and pregnancy loss nurse who are trying to help. The trauma that will happen on Tuesday is something I will wish to forget for the rest of my life, but I need to believe in myself and my decision and that it has made me a stronger person and a better mum for putting my family first

I'm so sorry for all you are going through, and I'm glad you have help in the form of the counsellor and pregnancy loss nurse. I hope your daughter is going to be okay, and that you and your partner will lean on each other for encouragement and comfort.