Hello,
I really have never made a post like this. I’m just- overwhelmed I guess. I was with my ex for about 2 years. He is a serial cheater, pathological liar, and I suspect a narcissist. He trapped me in cycles of love bombing and abuse. I finally ended things for good. I had already moved out and in with my mom previous to officially ending the relationship. I’ve just found out that I am 5 weeks pregnant with his child. I know that if I tell him that he will use this soul to keep me in those abuse cycles for the rest of my life. I’m only 22, just graduated from college. I don’t have a job yet or my own place. I’m nervous. I got pregnant once before with him (he was obsessed with getting me pregnant, no matter what) but I lost the baby at 8 weeks and it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. To make it worse he was yelling and screaming at me via phone and text while I was in the hospital (I know, it was a mistake to see him after that). I’ve always wanted to be a mother badly- but I never envisioned my life looking like this. I don’t know what to do or where to start, or if it’s even a good idea to tell anyone (including him) that it’s his child or that I am pregnant at all. I am worried that I may not be strong enough to do this alone. The world feels like it is collapsing around me. Any kind words or advice is appreciated.