Changed mind on second pregnancy

[User7164]

My LO is 2.5 and I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant with second. Was very positive and excited at first but suddenly terrified.

I struggled very badly with my first with anxiety and depression and feel like I’m only just coming out the other side (hence why I initially felt ready for a second when I found out). I am terrible under stress/pressure and honestly not sure if I’ll cope with 2.

I have already booked my booking appointment with midwife and an early scan next week as I was feeling up for it. Have also told a couple of family members (who are happy but also equally concerned after my first pregnancy). But since yesterday I can’t stop thinking it’s the wrong decision and I don’t want to leave it too late to terminate. I feel like now I’ve even thought about terminating the pregnancy I couldn’t possibly go through with it or I’d always know that I wanted to get rid of the baby at a point.

Really don’t know what to do and would appreciate any advice.

Hey. It sounds like you’ve reacted really severely to the change in hormones in the past & it sounds like this is exactly what’s happening just now. (I’ve been there) we hear lots on post natal depression and anxiety but very little on peri natal but it’s a very very real and terrifying problem - unfortunately one where we perhaps need some areas of the medical profession to catch up a little. I’m sure you feel panicked and rushed but please slow down and take your time with any decision. When our brains go into fight or flight mode we’re no longer able to see what we feel in our hearts and what we truely want or wanted. The brain logically sees stopping the pregnancy as ending the problem but actually it’s not that simple as that will cause a hormonal swing as well and as many will tell you, the mental health fall out can be really severe from that as well. Not to mention at the end of the day you might still want that 2nd child. Try to consider what you feel (or felt) in your heart about another child, whether this was something you hoped for & planned for one day. Also to consider all the things you have which can make you succeed - e.g. being a good Mum already, space in your home & heart, being financially able to support them & external things like family support. Most importantly try and ask for professional help. I know from personal experience that it isn’t always there but charities like image pregnancy and Stillwater offer counselling sessions to discuss these sort of decisions. I wish I knew that support was there when in a similar position. If you take your time & a professional is able to step you though thinking of all of the angles & help you then at least you’ll be in a position to make the right decision for you. Take a big breathe and try to see through your eyes rather than the eyes of the anxiety.

I almost didn’t go ahead with my pregnancy with my now 4 month old daughter. I thank god daily I didn’t do it. It’s hormones and having a 2nd baby is scary especially after knowing how much life charges after this time round. You would regret not going ahead and forever thinking what could have been, abortion takes away more than just our worries and anxiety you can’t replace that baby once it’s gone. You’ll be ok. I had awful pp anxiety after my son but haven’t experienced it this time and worse case if you did you’ll get through just like before and have your beautiful children to show for it.

if you are in the uk which it sounds like you are please tell your midwife how you are feeling- they can referal you to perinatal mh services who can support you during the pregnancy. as someone said the termination won't make the feelings go away but is reaction to a scary situation- 'fight or flight'. i have a year old baby and even now sometimes my anexity is 'just give him away' but i don't mean that- its my intrusive thoughts. i had a termination due to aniexty- a few of us on here have and it made things a billon times harder. please get support- as thats what you need not a termination. sending you love and message if you need to- all your feelings are ones we've had to x