Repulsed by partner even though he's trying to support me

[Jen686]

I'm due to have a termination next week. It's very unplanned and unexpected. I'm approx 6 weeks. My partner of 3 years has been very supportive of my decision. But I feel repulsed by him. The thought of ever being intimate or even close again makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Is this natural given the circumstances? I hope our relationship can survive but at the moment I feel so disconnected from him.

Do you think you may be repulsed by him because you don’t actually want a termination so the thought of having one only to lay down with him again and commit the act again that got you pregnant and booking a termination in the first place? Just a thought. It seems like you are beginning to resent him, please don’t have a termination if you have been forced or swayed into this decision, it’s a very permanent decision and chances are, with how you are already feeling, it’s best to walk away for good if you decide this is not what you want. Hope you are ok 🌹

Thanks for your reply. It's definitely the right decision unfortunately. It's been my decision from the start although I feel terrible guilt. It's just maybe because being intimate got us in this situation? I just wondered if this is normal?

You are unsure if you will feel terrible guilt. You are unsure why you feel repulsed by your partner. You feel unsure in the durability of your relationship following a traumatic ordeal like aborting your baby.

But you are sure that an abortion is what you want?

Something isn’t quite adding up here and unfortunately all of this doesn’t sound normal at all which is why you probably haven’t had any other responses because others are just as confused as I am reading your post OP, it’s all contradictory.

I think you need to speak to a professional/family in RL who knows you and your situation better.

Thanks again for you're reply. I don't feel it's contradictory at all, maybe unclear.
I think you can still make a decision and feel guilt even if it's the right one.
My question was really regarding being repulsed by intimacy and if anyone had felt like this. I think it imay be fear of pregnancy happening again

Yes I did. It was because I had a shock pregnancy and was dealing with HG. Whatever you do make sure you have theraphy before and afterwards.

I can relate. For me I was scared of getting pregnant again and actually told my partner that I do not want to have sex with him if we go through an abortion. I was petrified and mortified that I had found myself in that position without being ready. So maybe you do know why you feel repulsed - but you will need to maybe hve a heart to heart or therapy to make sure that’s it. I also had to ask myself how I feel when I imagine our future.

Thank you - it is the worry of falling pregnant again after this being such a shock. Therapy is definitely a good suggestion . Hitting more than I thought x

I had an abortion, followed by a traumatic birth, and I have felt repulsed by my partner honestly since the abortion. We had a great sex life before and since the baby we’ve had sex maybe 5 times in 2 years… I am finally receiving therapy for it and it is really helping. It turned out to be a lot about things that happened in my past, about loss of control etc all things I hadn’t added together so I’d really recommend speaking to someone. I thought there was something totally wrong with me as I’d never heard anyone else speak about being repulsed by their partner before but it is a genuine thing! The sooner you get help the better though, I let mine fester for a long time and get worse and worse. I hope you’re okay xx

Im glad things are getting better for you ❤️ It's a strange one as my partner has been nothing but supportive of my decision but I think it is a bit of a defense mechanism. As soon as it's over I will look at options , thank you so much x