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Pregnancy choices

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Mifepristone did not work, overwhelming guilt and fear

1 reply

roma2222 · 07/01/2025 13:13

I have just escaped an abusive relationship where among other things, I experienced coercion to become pregnant for my partner, something I did not want as I feel I am too old and having suffered severe post natal depression after having my son in a prior relationship, felt would be detrimental to me and my little boy. That is a long and complicated story and one I feel ashamed and stupid about, but I did become pregnant, unwillingly.

I was under pressure to keep the baby, but I eventually braved it and received a medical abortion kit. I took the Mifepristone and my pregnancy symptoms disappeared. As an emetophobe and having a general terror of these things (I suffered a terribly traumatic labour and also a missed-miscarriage some years ago) I was unable to follow through with the Misoprostol, I couldn't make myself do it because I was terrified of the pain, the illness and coping alone. However I was convinced the pregnancy had ended and that I would naturally pass the pregnancy at some point.

A few days ago my breasts became sore again. I was scanned today and the pregnancy is ongoing.
I am devestated. I am now 9 weeks pregnant. A gestation that for me, personally, is making abortion a far more emotionally difficult prospect, but i'm absolutely certain I won't risk my mental health and the possible ramifications on my parenting of my son by having another child. I now need to either re-do the medical proceedure or book a surgical and hope that the waiting time is fast...which it is unlikely to be in my area.

I feel so conflicted....this poor thing has survived Mifepristone, for nothing. Only for me to do this to it again. I feel like the worst person on earth. Im lost and scared and in turmoil and I don't understand why the Mifepristol did not cause detachment.

Nobody knows this is happening, this is a horrible burden to carry so I suppose I am looking for empathy, advise, a hand-hold...I just don't know :(

OP posts:
Annoymous3659 · 07/01/2025 18:03

@roma2222 I am really sorry you are going through all of this. It sounds really hard and to reassure you, you are not an awful person.

It sounds like you have considered your options and decided it’s best to go ahead with the termination? you have to do what’s right for you and your mental health.

If so, you may want to consider the option of the surgical termination as the medical is likely to be a lot more to go through considering how you are already feeling. Usually, for surgical you are booked in really quick and recovery is fast in most cases.

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