Unsure and needing so advice

[Wombatgremlin88]

Hi,

So I found out on the 17th Dec that I am pregnant and I am really unsure what to do.

I had an abortion almost 10 years ago at 22 weeks (i was not aware i was pregnant till 16 weeks) and I know when I did have the abortion my mental health took a total nose dive and its only really in the last 4 years it has approved.

I have a stable job and no one is saying I should get an abortion or anything like that But I am worried that coz of my previous mental health issues people think its a bad idea for me to continue with my pregnant.

Has anyone had experience of this or any advice on how to cope?

Just to add since I became pregnant my mental health has been very stable bar the odd crying at sad movies

@Wombatgremlin88 I am sorry to hear about your previous experience. It must have been extremely difficult to experience a termination at 22 weeks.

I appreciate people are you would be concerned but it’s important to be led by what you feel and want. It sounds like things are going well. If you are worried, talk to you midwife about your previous experience and the support available from the perinatal mental health team should things become tricky during the pregnancy or after. Wishing you the best of luck x

Hi @Wombatgremlin88 , I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. You say that nobody is saying you should have an abortion, but that people think it's a bad idea to continue with the pregnancy? If they are saying they think it's a bad idea to continue the pregancy that sounds like they are steering you to having an abortion? Apologies if I've mis-interpreted.

An abortion at 22 weeks must have been very difficult, and I'm not surprised your mental health took a nose dive after going through that. I had an abortion at 13 weeks in the 80s, and it was, and still is, the most difficult thing I have ever done. My mental health has never fully recovered from the experience. I think if you have survived what you went through so far, and it sounds like you have, then you are mentally strong enough to cope with having your baby. Is it possible for you to have some counselling to help you reach the decision that is right for you? I think it would help you see things more clearly. In my case, I think if I'd had counselling it would have helped me reach a different decision and saved me from the regret I've been living with for the past 40 years.

Wishing you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do x

Hi @Blueberry1001,

No you haven't misinterpreted at all, it's the same kinda thing that happened last time just alot less blunt then back then.

I have an appointment to speak to the doc this week to see what help is out there, I know that means if I do end up deciding to have an abortion it will be a late stage one again but I don't want to not prepare myself if that happens if that makes sense?

I am sorry you went through it as well and I can understand it still impacting you after so long and thank you for your response. x