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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnant & very unsure what to do 😞

1 reply

Elisia101894 · 03/12/2024 10:15

Hi, came here for some advice/support really as I don't feel that I can speak to family/friends about this as they can be quite judgmental on this kind of subject & feel it may hinder a decision that I make.

Bit of a long post but thankyou if you make it All the way through.

As my title says I've found that I am pregnant and very unsure on wether to continue or not with the pregnancy.

Me & my husband already have 5 children together. 3 in secondary school, 1 in year 3 at primary & a 8 month old.
I had been on the pill from around 3 months after having our youngest but had to come off last month due to non stop bleeding since being on it. We was using condoms until I got an appointment with the GP to discuss alternative contraception methods for me but still have found myself pregnant although not knowing of any breaks in contraception and another baby wasn't either of our plans for the future and had also briefly spoken about my husband having a vasectomy.

I have never with any of my other children thought of not continuing with the pregnancy but I feel as if another baby would maybe cause alot of complications & stress but I just can't shake the feeling of guilt & sadness of having an abortion & wether it's going to cause me alot of distress afterwards if I went through with an abortion.

Our reasons for thinking another baby is not going to be a good thing for us is that our youngest child has been very difficult to cope with since being born, not sleeping, not drinking very much milk, cows milk allergies & had very bad colic. We struggled immensely and shes still difficult now but were getting there, i also had a very bad pregnancy with her which made me very depressed & not sure id cope again. Me and my husband don't really get any time together now either & not sure we would cope with another baby & if this would cause a very negative impact on our marriage & family life with our other children. They isn't really room in the house for another child either and would mean that we would have to get an even bigger car. Would make holidays very difficult too.

I am stuck between my head being practical and telling me another child isn't an option as it would make life extremely difficult & we wont cope and my heart telling me this is my child and I can't have an abortion. I'm so torn and dont want to make the wrong decision 😞

My husband has said he is leaning more towards not wanting another child but said whatever decision I make is upto me and he will support me but I don't want him to end up resenting or hating me if keeping the baby causes such stress for us all especially because he has said he doesn't really want another child, this makes me feel as if I'm going against his feelings on it to and that he would feel that way towards me if life gets too difficult.
I know no-one can tell me what to do but just looking for advice. Tia

OP posts:
Saskia2023 · 04/12/2024 15:53

I am really sorry you are in this position- its such a dificult decision when head v heart come into it. I would access some counselling to talk through with someone as things can get stuck in your head whereas exploring your feelings with someone independent may help you reach a decision. dont rush to get it 'over with'- its one of those things that once you do it theres no going back. i rushed mine and didn't talk to a couselllor and really wish i had. happy to signpost you to some charities who can offer you with some counselling if you are in the uk wishing you all the best- its a very hard decision and often there isn't the right decision- its almost which one you feel you can manage most x

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