Regretting termination

[Mamabug94]

I recently had a surgical termination. My husband and I planned this pregnancy but I was so sick and nauseous and I really couldn't cope. We already have a 11 month LB and I couldn't take care of him let alone myself.

I tried multiple medications and nothing worked, I went to hospital for dehydration and besides having fluids there was nothing else they could do.

I had bad nausea the first time I was pregnant but managed to push through it. This time, I genuinely thought I was dying, I have never felt so unwell.

My husband was so amazing, he took care of everything in the house and took care of me as best he could. He understood my need to terminate and said he would support whatever decision I made but that if we did terminate he didn't want to try again. In the moment I was totally onboard with this, I just was so desperate for the sickness to end.

Now I'm on the other side, and I am so heartbroken with what I've done and the fact I'll never have another baby. I feel like I've lost a part of me and wish I could've seen passed the sickness.

I understand my husband's reasons for not wanting to go through that again, but how do i cope with this unbearable pain of not having another baby one day?

I am really sorry to hear you are going through this. The pregnancy sounded tough. I would say be kind to yourself. You are probably dealing with a lot of changes and emotions since the termination.

You did what you felt was best at the time as you were dealing with the difficulties of sickness. As part of the termination, aftercare services and counselling is offered. It’s worth reaching out to try work through how you are feeling. Wishing you the best x

I am so sorry you felt this way and your priority had to be to your existing child. termination is sold to us as the solution and no one ever really warns you about the emotional aftermath. please let yourself grieve and get some counselling. just because your husband said no at that stage doesnt mean that will always be the case. we went on to have another baby after discussing. i would say try to focus on processing what has happened now and getting counselling. at the moment your hormones will be so strong that it may feel trying again is a desperate urge. but allow yourself to heal and then discuss. i rushed into having another pregnancy and i would have been better healing first. message anytime you need to- theres a few of us who have been where you have been and it was the worst time of my life x