Firstly I’m so sorry to anyone this offends, I know some people struggle with fertility issues and miscarriages so my apologies.
I myself was told I couldn’t have children for years then ended up getting pregnant last year… the pregnancy was not great, I had HG throughout, my waters broke and I wasn’t going into labour so I ended up having to have a c section, I lost a lot of blood and they put me under GA for the next few weeks i had to have iron transfusions. I completely disassociated and ended up with ppd and derealisation. It took me months to start to feel mentally better and I didn’t really bond with my daughter until around 6/7 months although I cared for her very well throughout. In this time I’d had intercourse with her dad 2ce. I did not even consider the fact I could get pregnant as I thought my daughter was just a miracle conception.
last month I started feeling incredibly sick - like I did when I had HG, after two days I thought god this is how I felt when I was pregnant - I was in fact pregnant. I booked an app at the clinic the next day.
thinking there’s no way I could go through another pregnancy, I nearly died from the last one and my mental health still isn’t good. I was further gone than I thought I’d assumed I was about 5 weeks but I was nearly 10. This threw me and I started feeling so much guilt as it wasn’t just a foetus then. I asked for a few days to think about it I called back in to make an appointment to go ahead. The soonest they could get me in was 3 weeks later which is tomorrow.
I don’t know what to do it feels so wrong to end a healthy pregnancy but there are so many things
im no longer with the father and we barely get along
I already have a 9 month old
I have zero support becuAse I have no family that live here.
my mental health is not great, not sure if I could cope with 2
im terrified of nearly dying again
but the guilt of the termination is haunting me and I havnt event done it yet.
I don’t know what advice anyone could give but if anyone’s been in a similar situation I’d be so thankful to hear your thoughts
thankyou if you managed to read all this!