I'm 20 pregnant and still living at home. Need advice.

[Jess13224]

I am 20 years old and I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend since the age of 13. 2 days ago I found out I was pregnant. I still live at home with my mum and sister in a small 2 bedroom flat. I know that the person I am with is the person I want to father my children and be with for the rest of my life however this pregnancy could not have came at a worser time. I recently resigned from my job which I have had for over 3 years I left this job due to the fact since I had started there has been constant staffing issues (never a period over 2-3 months without an issue) which somehow always fell onto me to cover and I always did cover (multiple 12 hours shifts with little to no breaks). I then was told I was not 'bubbly'. Morally I prefer not to have an abortion (however I'm keeping this option open). I'm in 2 head spaces I really don't know what to do or feel. Any and all advice is welcomed.

What I am teaching my own daughter is to never let herself get into a position where she can’t support herself and her child independently. She needs to always keep her life organized in a way that if her partner was abducted by aliens and replaced with a monster, she could walk away from the relationship and know she would be ok.

Oh goodness Jess, I'm sorry this pregnancy comes at a difficult time. I'm glad you resigned from that job where they were putting so much extra work onto you, I would have been frustrated with that situation too. You have been with your partner a very long time, you must be very well matched to have stayed together that long! Are you paying your mum rent to stay with her? Does your partner know you're pregnant? How does he feel about it? Do you think your mum and sister would be willing to help out, maybe if you started working evenings/nights would they watch your child? Can your partner's family provide any help? These are difficult conversations to have, but you need to have all the information to make your best choice. Many, MANY babies come along at bad times, but if the parents are determined to making it work, they can usually find a way. It's hard at age 20 to have to sacrifice so much of your own free time for your baby, but it's a special kind of love too.

Sorry you are in such a difficult position. It sounds as if you did the right thing leaving your job, from how you describe it they were taking advantage of you being willing to step in when short staffed.

In your position I would look at all the options to find a way to keep your baby, you seem to be leaning that way. It can be hard to see a way forward and imagine how things would pan out depending on the decision you make.

I was living at home with my dad and brother when I had an unplanned pregnancy also at the age of 20. I terminated, and have regretted it ever since. When I look back on it now (it was many years ago), I think was I driven by fear, and listened to the advice of so called friends who told me I'd never be able to manage on my own and that I should terminate. I wish I'd taken some time to really consider my options and to find a way to keep my baby. I did have options that for some reason I just didn't consider until afterwards, but of course by then it was too late.

I hope you manage to reach the decision that is best for you, wishing you all the best whatever you decide.

Well that's helpful advice 🙄

Update: incase anyone came across this or for previous responses.

We are keeping the baby! I am 11w2d now and I'm very happy with my decision. I have told my family and he has told his everyone is super supportive and excited aswell. After a lot of conversations with the dad to be we have come up with solutions and are both excited! I had my first ultrasound 3 days ago and this has just reconfirmed to me that we made the right decision☺️