Tumour and a Termination

[Key1997]

Bit of a heavy one for my first post so here goes…

In September I went to A&E where I was diagnosed with extensive Deep Vein Thrombosis, whilst there I complained of ongoing left sided stomach pain so they preformed an ultrasound where they found out I have a 12cmx13cm tumour on my adrenal glands (for context I am only 27 Years Old) along with the surprise that I was 10 weeks pregnant. I have since been referred to numerous specialists and had every test/scan possible however they cannot see if the tumour is cancerous or not. I was advised that a termination of the pregnancy is best to ensure I am able to have surgery and any follow up treatment that may be required as a matter of urgency. Therefore at 10 weeks pregnant I agreed to this, the procedure is high risk due to the tumour, DVT & medication etc. There were lots of tests my consultant needed to perform before he felt safe enough to refer me for a termination, this has now been done and I had my first consultation yesterday. My issue is between making my initial decision and the termination date it will be almost 2 MONTHS… meaning I will be 18 WEEKS PREGNANT!!!!! By 18 weeks I felt both of my children move and knew the genders so to me this is heartbreaking.
I tried to stay detached since finding out but inevitably… I love this Baby.

I have 2 other children (hence making my decision to not delay my tumour treatment) a 9 year old and a 5 month old… so I am obviously feeling very maternal (trying to not let my hormones play a part). This baby was not planned and was conceived 6 weeks after the birth of my daughter (I would never of considered a termination if it was not for my current health).

I have never put myself before my children and feel selfish for putting myself before this baby. I know I would be unable to cope with the shame/guilt if the tumour turns out to be begin and no follow up treatment is needed. Alternatively if I continue with the pregnancy and tumour turns out to be more sinister, I have been advised that delaying treatment would ultimately make it too late meaning I would leave 3 children behind and realistically would not be able to care for a newborn.

Apologies for the very long post, I guess I am struggling… I have 2 weeks to make my choice. Any advice would be appreciated and if anybody can share a similar experience and the outcome I would be forever grateful❤️.

what a heartbreaking situation especially when it should be a happy time with your current baby. it must also be hard now the decision is here rather than before going through the tests. firstly it would be worth accessing some counselling to talk through your feelings/emotions because if you go ahead its going to be hard emotionally even thought it may be what you need to do. the other thing is whether you have spoken to any obstetricians as you do hear cases where sometimes babies are delivered early etc to enable women to then have treatment. your oncology consultants etc will be looking at the tumour and the terminaiton service will be looking at the safety of that but no one will have considered how to manage it if you decided to go ahead or considered the emotional impact. so hard to have to be making a decision on so many unknowns. i would really press to see if you can access some counselling and specialist support from someone. sending you a hand hold and allow yourself to grieve

I'm wondering if there is a middle way here. They don't seem to be in a huge risk given from diagnosis to date of termination it'll be 8 weeks. Could you ask for a scan the week before the termination with a view to going ahead if it's grown/grown much. If it's been stable for 7 weeks then wherever they can give baby enough time to becoming viable. Say 26 weeks maybe a bit later if tumour is still stable but as early as they can get away with.

Or can't they take a biopsy whilst you're still pregnant?

But, obviously a baby born very early, does have risks and would be in hospital for a long time, likely being poorly whilst you are recovering from surgery.

It's a heartbreaking decision you're facing. I'm really sorry 😢