Termination scan- to look or not??

[Vikiy89]

I am in the process of a termination for very personal circumstances.

I have the scan tomorrow- I guess so they know where it is/how big etc.

Do I look/not look?

Please be kind. I am already hating myself for the situation I am in 😢

definately dont look or its one of those things you cant unsee. wishing you all the best- even if its the right decision for the circumstances it can still be sad and allow yourself to recover emotionally not just physically x

I just feel conflicted. I feel if I do look, it’ll make it more ‘real’ and if I don’t, almost like I’m robotic and have a cold heart.

I am exactly in that situation. It is the only option I have, but it really doesn’t make it any easier, I am so sad I’m having to go through with this 😔 I know I am going to struggle in the coming weeks, but also know it’s for the best. It’s so hard to get my head around.

thank you @Saskia2023 for being so kind about it xx

not cold at all- there is nothing to be gained from seeing the screen and it will make the decision harder. it sounds like you have thought through what you need to do so don't punish yourself by looking. make sure after you access support emotionally as can be hard with hormones leaving your body. theres a number of us on here whove been there so do message if you need to. no judgement- i am sure you wish you werent in the position and having to make the decision.

Hi hun
I looked I couldn't not . I felt sick after I looked . Then I felt happy that I had changed my mind and was going to keep the baby . Then I told close friends and they convinced me to have the termination . Do what feels right in that moment and if you feel compelled to look then look 🩵

Hiya @Tinydancer222 it’s a horrible situation to be in isn’t it.
i wasn’t going to look. I didn’t look at the screen, but the pictures she printed were just slapped on the table right in front of me while she was doing Blood pressure and talking😢 I couldn’t help but not look. It doesn’t change my mind, there’s no way I can keep this pregnancy but I did have a cry afterwards. As if it’s not tough enough, without hormones added to the mix. Xx

I'm so sorry hun . Please be gentle with yourself in the weeks and months afterward it's not an easy road. Sending you the biggest hug xxx

Thank you @Tinydancer222 it’s been a rough few weeks since finding out. I have to have a surgical removal, as I have an underlying very aggressive clotting disorder so wasn’t allowed tablets. And I run the high risk of blood clots stopping my blood thinners for the procedure- so either way it’s pretty scary. I re clotted in both legs (DVTs) in less than 24 hours in July after a procedure to put stents in, so I am really not looking forward to this at all, but am going to ask consultant if he will consider sterilising me whilst I’m under general anesthetic so I don’t ever have to go through any of this ever again. By the time of my removal, I’ll be almost 10weeks- it’s taken so long because I’m a more complicated case. Nothing ever goes right for me and this year has just been awful 😞 I’m keeping busy and trying not to think about it because if I do, I’ll cry again. X

I am so unbelievably sorry this is a lot to deal with and emotionally too . Be gentle with yourself and rest and let your mind and body process all of this . Sending you a big hug xxx