Took the first abortion pill and it broke my heart! Is there still hope?

[Moonandsunandskies]

Took a first pill of the abortion treatment two days ago and wobbled …the feeling of guilt was overwhelming and made me panic! I spent the whole day crying and in an absolutely state of madness. I honestly never thought that it will feel like you’re trying to harm your own child! I thought that as I was sa early ( around 6 weeks) it wouldn’t matter that much and I can just pretend that I’m getting my period late but oh lord my mind went on a self destructive mode and the minute I took that pill I felt like the worst person/ mother in the world! I didn’t want to carry on with the next step, I just couldn’t do it. Despite the fact that I don’t want another child right now ( my little one is only 11 months old) and I just can’t bare the thought of being pregnant again I just couldn’t take the second dose and finish it off. I phoned BPAS and they were very supportive and told me I don’t have to take the second right away, that if I’m unsure I should wait and if I decide to carry on with this pregnancy to not take the second tablets and see what happens. I felt relieved at that point and decided not to take the second lot yesterday, however I started bleeding lightly with a few clots( very small tho), it carries on today, cramping and light bleeding with some tiny clots down in the toilet… Does this mean the process has begun and it’s likely that it’s too late? I was hoping the pregnancy will hold up but the chances are probably slim, I’m worried that’ll now tell me to proceed with the second dose to finish it off…:(
Has anyone had similar experience?
Thanks in advance x

im so sorry youve gone through this. i was similar to you- i realised after the first tablet i had made a mistake and then had bleeding etc and lost it. its harder this way as you have a few hours when you think you can reverse your decision and then the bleeding comes. i think that made the emotional fall out harder. please allow yourself to grieve as its a horrible time and message if you need to. those first few weeks can be hard as the hormones are buzzing around. but there will be a time you will feel you again.x

Hello Moonandsun, just wanted to offer support and sympathy. You are far from alone, there are millions of women all over the world with the same situation, feeling the same way. You did what you thought was best, maybe what you were told was best. You were anxious, you were scared and worried, and you were under pressure to make a choice. I believe it's only about a 10% chance that the pregnancy continues after taking the first pill, and I'm sorry it did not happen for you. Allow your heart to heal, and may the future hold good things for you and your family.