Hello
I’m just writing this post as I recently went through a MA and whilst I found comfort in reading stories of others, I was also petrified of what was to come and wanted to put this out there incase anyone ever finds themself in my position and also give a realistic account of what to expect.
I'm already a mum of one, I’m in my final year of studying nursing and in a loving relationship. It was a shock getting a positive pregnancy test and it was a very difficult decision for me to get to having an abortion. Realistically, our lives would be put on hold and we just don’t have the space or finances at the moment for a baby. The job situation for newly qualified nurses is worrying in the NHS currently and having a baby before qualifying would make this even more difficult. That said we want another child and have discussed this which is why this broke my heart but I know this will be in our future if it is meant to be. What I will say is I thought I’d feel worse after the abortion but I actually don’t. The indecisive period is what affected me most and living in limbo not knowing what to do. My OH was very clear that this was not the time for us right now and I’m glad now he stood his ground as I was very much hormonal and all over the place.
I booked my first appointment for when I thought I would be about 7 weeks - this was due to having to wait after contacting BPAS and finding they don’t cover my area so I had to go through my local health board. I had a consultation with a lovely nurse the day before and it was decided I would be scanned based on information I had given her. I had the appointment and she told me I would not need to see the screen but I wanted too. I was measured at 8W3D so slightly further than I thought. I was highly emotional at this appointment and it was decided another week was needed by the nurse before treatment being given. Fast forward a week, I got given my tablets and I decided against a MVA which was the alternative.
It took me a day to gain the courage to take the first tablet, I was distraught. However once I had taken it I knew the decision had been made and I could start looking ahead. Nothing happened after taking the first tablet, no bleeding, no pain and I still felt very much pregnant. I had the day at home but if I had work or things to get on with I would have been able to easily.
After 24 hours, I inserted the 4 Misoprostol vaginally as advised, I was unsure if they had gone in far enough but I used a tampon to push them up as far as I could. I rested in bed with my partner and it took about an hour to start feeling anything other than the odd twinge. After an hour and half I felt the bleeding start, much like a period. The pain intensified in my lower back the next 2 hours but nothing had passed other than blood. I decided it was a good time to put the next 2 Misoprostol in vaginally and I then felt a huge gush of blood when laying down about 45 mins after and instantly went to the toilet. I passed a lot of clots but did not look to see (my partner did). This felt very strange but not painful. The pains were still very much there (throbbing aching back and in my stomach) it was very uncomfortable more so than I expected but not unbearable. After using the toilet we noticed one of the tablets dropped out onto my clothing so I reinserted this and then another 45 mins later another gush and more clots passing. I think this time the sac may have come out as my pain almost instantly reduced. There was more this time but I just sat on the toilet to pass it. The worst was over at this point, I had slight pain but I felt more normal. I passed a few more smaller clots throughout the next few hours but then it’s just returned to heavy period like bleeding.
It is the following day and I’m still bleeding but I feel no pain now just achy. I know I’ve done the right thing for me, my partner and little one. It’s surprised me how at peace I am with my decision but I’m grateful as women we have this option. Just because the timing is not right now it’s does not mean ever.
I would say if you have any children have someone look after them outside of your house as it’s not pleasant and you can relax knowing they are cared for. I was massively concerned about seeing anything, but in all honesty you know when you need to pass something so as long as you head straight for the bathroom it helps. Another concern was I 9w4d by the time the procedure was started so I’m not sure if this impacted how much I passed or the pain, I’m assuming the earlier on the better even though no one said this to me. It also helps if you have someone with you reassuring you everything is okay. I’m not sure how much my partner seen but he told me it was all okay and I was so grateful to have him there to support me.
I utilised a hot water bottle, ibuprofen and paracetamol. It wasn’t pleasant but it’s definitely manageable in your own surroundings. I really hope anyone who is going through this or considering it feels supported. I hope my story will bring some comfort and understanding. Remember this does not make you a bad person and this is YOUR decision.
Sending my love and best wishes to anyone who may need them x