Afraid I aborted my only daughter

[scaredandanxious01]

I had an abortion a couple of years ago at 4 weeks pregnant. At the time I already had a son, and have since given birth to another boy. I guess I had a twinge of gender disappointment in having another boy, although I love my baby to pieces and wouldn’t change him. I find myself wondering if the baby I aborted was a girl and I have therefore given up my only chance of having a daughter 😞 I don’t know what I’m asking here, I wondered if anyone else feels/felt the same at all and how I can reframe it so it doesn’t keep upsetting me.

I feel the same. I aborted my first pregnancy, and now have 3 boys, and also wonder if the first one was my only daughter. I would give anything to go back and keep that baby, regardless of whether it was a boy or a girl. The possibility of it being a girl seems to make it more poingnant, partly because I can barely remember my own mother (she died just after I'd started primary school, so my dad brought me up). Whenever I read articles about mother / daughter relationships, I wonder what that must be like.

Sorry I don't really have any advice on reframing it, just wanted to let you know you are not the only one who feels this way x

completely the same. two boys- termination in between.i got though my pregnancy thinking if it had been a girl then it would have made having the traumatic (and wrong decision)termination worth it so was upset when it was a boy again. i tell myself that even if the termination had been a girl i could have lost it, them been really poorly etc; thats the only way i process it. i also feel i had so much hope for a girl (one of the reasons i only ever had one baby in the first place!) that i would have put too much pressure on them being into girlie clothes and being a mini me. so maybe a boy is who i am meant to have and that was my son's preference. so nothing to help but just to say i know exactly how you feel. and maybe its a bit like wishing one was rich, it doesnt mean you dont like your current life. i do feel pangs when i see girlie clothes or one boy/one girl as that was what i would have loved but its getting less raw. i think its knowing ill never have that experience of having a girl e,g school dresses. however having seveal friends with girls who have struggles it shows me that ultimate its personality and i have lots of people around me who are close to their grown up sons so if you nuture the relatoionship it can be good whatever their sex. so yes i completely feel what you do but below are how i try and make peace with it x