Birth partner?

[LizzieLJ]

Hi all, my partner of 9 years recently announced that he doesn’t want to be in the labour room with me, I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant. He said he’ll be somewhere in the vicinity of the hospital but doesn’t want to be there for the birth. He’s normally supportive, so this took me by surprise. I asked my mum to be my birth partner, but she declined (she has anxiety issues, so doesn’t think she’d be appropriate). I know my best friend would do it, but I’m reluctant to ask as she’s 3 hour’s drive away & I don’t want to put pressure on her to bomb up the motorway when I call her. For those of you who didn’t have a birth partner, how did you find it?

Hello Lizzie, that must feel so disappointing, that your partner doesn't want to be there when you're in labour! Did you ask him what he's worried about? Maybe he might compromise if you tell him he can leave the room at the end if he doesn't want to see the actual birth, but there are so many hours before that when he could be helpful and supportive. If he still refuses, maybe your mom and friend could take turns being on Facetime with you if they have a smartphone. And you could see about a doula or midwife being there for you in the hospital, I'm not sure if that would be a big cost in terms of payment. There are classes and videos where they teach breathing exercises and other coping techniques, maybe if you and your partner did some of these, he'd feel less helpless if he knew exactly HOW to support you. RIght now, maybe he's thinking "I don't know anything about childbirth, I would be useless in there." I really hope you don't have to go it alone.