Just found out I’m pregnant already have 2 kids , stuck on what to do

[TheKookyFox]

I recently found out I was pregnant (4 weeks). I know exactly when it happened and took a plan b immediately after. I already have a 3 yr old and 18 month old and we have a smallish house (1500 sq feet 3 bedrooms). My husband and I looked at our finances and it would be tight with current income and expenses - about a $500 buffer.

With that being said, I am heartbroken of the idea of aborting the child. I have always wanted a 3rd kid, but this was sooner than we were ready. I am scared of the grief and regret that’ll come if I decide to terminate the child. I currently have an appointment at planned parenthood tomorrow but just the idea of going there makes me want to vomit.

My husband is pro aborting the child. He’s concerned the toll it will take on us financially, mentally. We have some family support but it also doest feel right to expect them to help for a mistake we made. My mom still works full time and his is elderly. My kids aren’t great sleepers and they are both very strong willed,I’m able to handle it better than he is.

My husband wanted a vasectomy and I encouraged him to cancel the appointment. I couldn’t accept that we would be making a permanent decision not knowing if our minds would change in 2, 5 years etc. I feel immense guilt about that. However he did know I wasn’t on birth control when the deed occurred. We were both drinking and more careless than normal.

In my heart, I want to keep the baby. I am so so scared about what will happen to us financially, how it’ll affect my marriage, and my other kids.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Update: just got back from abortion appointment and I couldn’t go through with it. I’m . So . Scared . I know life is going to be hard but I could not give 100% consent to the abortion. I want to be able to make the logical decision and give my husband what he wants but I just can’t do it emotionally. I feel selfish and scared, very scared.

I was in this same position in August. Found out I was pregnant two children already, worried sick about the financial implications of three children. Partner was so against another baby. I ended up terminating as even though it wasn’t what I really wanted deep down, I felt it was best for everyone. That was almost a month ago now and not a day goes by where I don’t have regrets. If it doesn’t feel right for you and you have doubts don’t do it. Especially don’t do it for anyone else. I feel like when my decision was made I was trying to take my partners feelings into consideration, but now I just wish I could do back and change things for me.

KookyFox dear, please don't feel selfish. In order to be pro-choice, there has to BE a choice. Not just doing what someone else feels is better. I truly feel that abortion is not an option that everyone can take. Some people seem to mourn for a spell and then move on. But for others, there is guilt, deep grief, and regret for a long, long time. Many people can sense deep down what side their heart is leaning toward. Since you already yearned to have three children, there was already a place made in your life for this unplanned baby. Like you said, your husband knew there was a chance of pregnancy when you had sex without birth control. He might have thought "what are the chances?," but he took that chance. So many people on the planet right now were "oops" babies, but their parent(s) made room for them. I understand that sometimes there are circumstances that do not allow for unplanned children, and would not judge anyone for the decision they make. However, if you do have the finances (it sounds like you'd already have most of the supplies, since you have an 18 month old currently) and the desire, it's not selfish to want to bring this baby into the world. Maybe you could allow your husband to get the vasectomy, assuming the pregnancy goes past the possibility of miscarriage, and then you both know that you won't find yourself in this position again (maybe that would make him feel better about having this child). I hope your husband will understand that abortion feels all wrong to you, and that you should not be pushed into doing something that could hurt you so badly.