Awful decsion maker help please

[GunesM]

Hi so in general I suffer severe health anxiety and mental health issues I am 37 and am pregnant with baby no 4. I am 6.5wks along me and dh both thought we were open to more children but since finding out i have found myself trapped in a deep dark whole to the point I fel like ending it all to get out of this situation.
Pros:
We have always been open to another self inflicted pg as we wernt very careful due to a false sense of if it happend it happend.
We have a big enough house

Cons: c section 4 this has some risks for myself and i already have health issues and a low immune system.
Financially we would struggle my other 3 would have to forfeit things for us to make this work.
At current it has impacted me so negatively I don't want to start again I am jot copeing atall
Dh isn't on side with a termination atall he wants to continue due to religious reasons and says if I terminate our marraige will possibly be over.
My older children would be Impacted eith a toddler around as they are all entering exam age.
I feel so unsure what I should do my anxiety has peaked and I'm just not functioning right now if I went ahead I could loose my marriage if I continue I will find myself in a position and putting myself at risks I don't want to be in anyone advice

Hi, sounds like you need to speak to a professional, possibly even try some medication if it's affecting you to the extent you feel like ending it all. Does your husband know how badly you're feeling?

I think you need to try and separate 'anxious thoughts' and catastrophising from solid circumstances. You don't need anybody's permission to terminate but make sure you are happy and secure with your reasons.

I agree with DreamyMint, if you are feeling suicidal over the situation please try to talk to a counselor of some kind. There are some anti anxiety medications called SSRIs that are safe to take during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. It sounds like you were open to another pregnancy, so you need to figure out what changed and if it is something you can overcome. Maybe your older children can help out more around the house with cleaning and laundry? Sometimes we as parents fail to see how capable they have become and it's not a bad thing to teach them some skills early on. Then you'd have more time to focus on the baby. I'm sorry if your husband is not listening to you and understanding what you need. I hope he is a good enough man that you can tell him your honest feelings and get help and support from him. I hope you can find a way through this, dear.