Is this normal?

[Howinthehelldidthishappen]

So. I'm 47. I have older teen/adult children. Never wanted more. I'm done. Was done a long time ago.
I'm menopausal. Or thought I was.
Until I found out I'm pregnant.
Within ten minutes I'd booked a consultation for an abortion.
For many, many reasons I can't have a baby.
Never ever wanted another.
Not fair on my current kids.
No space in the house.
Not equipped for a baby.
Can't afford it.
No idea how I can keep my job and have a young baby.
Not with the dad. And he absolutely will not be supportive.
Don't want to be a single parent to a baby.
Far too old.

Have happily had an implant for years, so getting pregnant wasn't remotely on my mind.
But now I am.
I know in my heart the only real option is to terminate. I have an appointment on Tuesday.
But somehow I find myself thinking, what if?
I never ever thought I'd be in this situation, and I guess I'm just wondering if all these random conflicting thoughts are normal?

it sounds very much like termination is correct for you Op but natural to feel unsure and sad

It’s a permanent decision so it’s so important to question every what if. This will have been such a shock to you & my advice would be to take your time with this irreversible choice. It might be that it’s the right one for you and if it is then that’s absolutely fine but if there’s even the slightest doubt then you need to explore that now in order to look after your mental health long term. It’s not always the easy, ‘walk away from it unscathed’ option that we’re led to believe

It's absolutely normal to question, sometimes life takes an unexpected turn and it's surprisingly okay even though it's not at all what we planned. I would give yourself a little more time to think it over. Being in your mid-40's, there is a higher chance of miscarriage. You could let things unfold and if the pregnancy naturally ends, you know it was not meant to be, if part of you is feeling open to having another child. I would let your mind mull it over, considering all the factors, since once the choice is made, there is no going back. Sorry you're in this hard situation, I hope you'll be able to think with a clear head and heart.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply.
I think it was all such a shock I didn't know what to think.
Not sure I have too much time to think it over, I don't have regular periods, so no idea how far along I would be.
Although over the last couple of days my breasts have pretty much doubled in size and I'm sure I have a visible bump. So I would guess more than just a couple of weeks.
I've done nothing but think and I just can't see having a child alone at 48 would be a viable option, however nice the daydreaming has been.
I have had a telephone consultation, and have an in person appointment this week.
So I guess I'll go from there.

i assume they’ll scan you? I guess gestation might impact your decision as well. Please make sure and make use of the counselling services offered beforehand. Bpas can help or places like Stillwater offer emergency counselling (they’re a Christian charity but honestly you don’t need to worry about them being anti choice, it isn’t the case) they just have the experience to chat it over with you and make sure you’re doing what’s right for you either way.