Should I follow on My feelings and protect myself

[GunesM]

Hello all I am a mom of 3 c.s kids (16,13,10) i also have ectopic surgery history and 1 d&c. The last 3 years I have experienced alot of trauma and health issue's. I have found out surprisingly I am pg my.mental health is not good right now and I cannot cope with the thoughts of the risks involved I am having around 10 panic attacks a day I feel the best decision may be to terminate but don't want to feel like a monster I just don't know how ill get through this the worry already is making me unwell I wish everyday nature would take care of this but then feel bad for feeling that way I feel if I terminate I would be taking back control and protecting my own health and my children's mumma someone please help we do not have good access to therapy etc were I live it'd almost impossible so whatever happens I'm going to be alone

I am so sorry you are going through this. You sound pretty sure you want to have a termination, although I would make sure it’s absolutely what you want. I have learnt the hard way. I had an abortion 2 weeks ago, and I listened to my head (and partner) because of all of the practical reasons why we shouldn’t keep it. It was only a few days later that the magnitude of my choice hit me and I am now really struggling with my mental health and I’m in a very dark place.

Please whatever you decide to do, try to get some sort of help and someone you can talk to because believe me an abortion does not always mean the easy choice. I am let with my regret every single day.

Thank-you so much I needed to hear this as I also have terminated in the past and it has never left me still to this day it ruined my life forever but I guess when we feel this mentally unstable it does feel like a quick way out but turns to extra emotions. Maybe I just need to try put it to the back of my mind for a while and see what happens x

Also have finally spoken to my husband well broke down about how the risks etc are affecting me causing panic attacks etc he has recently become much closer to his faith and says we can never go into something like that again unless a dr was also prepared to confirm its too risky for the myself like I have said a dr cannot recommend either way they will just explain the possibilities of surgery 5 I've woken up in a huge panic attack again and just feel so alone in all this

@GunesM its so hard, I feel like ultimately it is us alone making the final decision. If you wanted to continue the pregnancy could you get some advice from a doctor?

We have decided to do just that but ultimately I know they won't advise a termination which will mean my hubs won't agree and he has too were we live. It honestly isn't something I really want to do again as I am aware of the sadness and guilt that follows and never leaves but mentally I am very low and am not sure how ill cope or make it through this knowing the risks this can carry it would be a long 9 months and I'll spend everyday looking at the children I do have thinking will I be here for them next year but this is my fault we should have been more careful but I didn't realise if I did get pg I'd feel this much sheer fear over it being c section 4.
Also as for you're own situation always remind yourself of the reason's at the time you took that decision sadness is inevitable and time is a great healer believe me but sometimes we make the wrong decision for the right reasons in life we are all only human x

@GunesM it is very true sometimes we make the wrong decision for the right reasons. I tried to think about what was best for my children and was worried about what a 3rd would mean. I got caught up in the practical stuff but now those things don’t seem to matter anymore. I think your situation is different as medically there are risks involved. I think just be prepared to need the support after. Would you tell your husband that you’re going to have a termination?

We can't have abortion we're we love unless the husband gives permission also (which he won't) unless the Dr we speak to is open and honest about the risks involved for me. I feel awful for feeling like I wish nature would take care of all this 😔