I'm pregnant by a man I don't love

[Liabby]

I'm pregnant by a man who I moved in with me to help him get on his feet. Ever since he's moved in we've been arguing everyday and I'm ready to pull my hair out.i don't want to be with him anyone. He has so many financial and personal problems.hes a good guy to me and he loves me but he's always arguing about petty stuff and talking under his breath after every argument. I feel I don't want this baby as well. What should I do?

We've been together almost two years and he's cheated and I've found women in his phone about 5 times or more since we've started dating.hes says I never trust him and everytime I wanna look through his phone he gives me a hard time. For example he's thrown the phone cause I kept asking for it. Due to me being oddly suspicious of him. Recently he let me use his phone to just look at and he made up a excuse as to why he snatched his phone out my hand saying I always do this. Everytime I get the phone it's never anything in it anymore. But I feel he's hiding something big from me.

Oh goodness Liabby, that sounds like a painful situation. How old are you? It sounds like he has done very little to earn your trust. I would be suspicious too. Does he know you are pregnant? How does he feel about that? Do you want to be a mum? He sounds like a manipulator who knows what to say to get you to let him stay. But he doesn't sound like a man who can commit to an exclusive relationship. I would trust your feelings and put him out of your residence. Two years is more than enough to help someone "get back on their feet." You don't owe this man anything. Whether or not you would want to keep the baby is a separate matter. Hope to hear back from you.

Hi yes thank you I'm 21 and I don't want a baby right now .I stayed with him before this but I paid half the bills with him and I told him that I don't want a relationship right now but everytime I say something about it he acts like I never said anything. He already has a daughter and I don't know if I want to be held down like that right now.

I can't seem to get him him out my house and he makes me feel bad about wanting him gone because the situation isn't working out and I forgot to mention he does know I'm pregnant but I told him I don't want that responsibility.but he makes it seem like he doesn't have anywhere to go. And Im not sure what to do about it .

Hi yes thank you I'm 21 and I don't want a baby right now .I stayed with him before this but I paid half the bills with him and I told him that I don't want a relationship right now but everytime I say something about it he acts like I never said anything. He already has a daughter and I don't know if I want to be held down like that right now.

I can't seem to get him him out my house and he makes me feel bad about wanting him gone because the situation isn't working out and I forgot to mention he does know I'm pregnant but I told him I don't want that responsibility.but he makes it seem like he doesn't have anywhere to go. And Im not sure what to do about it .

Oh my, you must feel so trapped. If I was you I would call the police (try to find their non-emergency number) and ask how to go about getting him removed from your house. Due to the length of time he's stayed there, and if he is paying bills, or partial rent, he may be considered a tenant and you his landlord, in which case he would have rights. There could be an eviction process such as giving thirty or sixty days notice, things like that. If only your name is on the lease, it should be possible. But you'd want to get all the information first on the procedure for the area you live in. He can't just pretend he doesn't hear you and expect to live there forever. He's taking advantage of you, be assertive and let him know this relationship and his free ride are ending. If he has nowhere else to go that is not your problem. You've wasted enough time with this man already at a time in your life that should be full of possibilities.

Thank you for talking to me I've been feeling bad and feeling like I owe this man something because I was trying to help him .he's been walking around here like his life is over because he keeps saying he doesn't know what he's going to do.

Wow, he just keeps trying to get you to feel sorry for him. If you are the kind of person who will do anything to "keep the peace" (I am often like this) and don't really say what you're thinking, this sounds like the time to start speaking your mind. The key to being assertive is not to insult the other person, but to speak calmly and state facts. Using things like "when you did/said , it made me feel ." Telling them what you need from them and what you expect, and when. A deadline, something that can be measured, not just for them to say "I'll try harder." Many times when people say "Just til I get back on my feet," it turns into "Until you throw me out" because there's no definite finish line.

I have a pamphlet with "Male and Female Rights In A Dating Relationship" and I want to share some with you so you'll feel more empowered.

• I have the right not to be abused, physically, sexually, or emotionally.
• I have the right to express my own opinions.
• I have the right to have my needs be as important as my partner's needs.
• I have the right to grow as an individual in my own way and not be criticized for it.
• I have the right to accept responsibility for my own behavior, not someone else's behavior.
• I have the right to change my mind.
• I have the right to say "No."
• I have the right to be respected and loved, and to live a peaceful life.

You can Google "ways to be assertive" if you need more guidelines on how to express yourself in a firm way. It sounds like he's driving you crazy and if he didn't live with you, you would have broken up with him a long time ago. I still think talking to the police would be a good idea, or call your local government and ask who you need to talk to about how to legally evict him. Hope to hear back from you with how it's going, dear.

Thank you so much for your advice. I had to lie to the man to get him out of my house. But he's gone and I can get some peace of mind. I finally put my foot down and I'm glad thank you.

Wow! That was fast! I'm proud of you and I hope that this will be a fresh start for you. If he starts stalking or harassing you, make sure you get a non-molestation order so that the law is on your side and it will be even worse for him if he won't leave you alone. Thank goodness it was just a relationship and not a marriage-- much easier to put an end to. I'm also a nice person who tries to help people, but we have to know when to draw the line and I'm glad you put your own needs first. All my best to you and I hope you find a better partner when you're ready.