Surgical next week - feel so alone

[impossiblechoice24]

I have 4 children and cannot mentally, physically and financially provide for another. I feel so silly, guilty and heartbroken.

I have a scan this week to confirm my gestation. I know all my dates. I'm 7 1/2 weeks currently.

Just wondering if there is anyone else on here also having a surgical soon or just had one? Nobody around me is although I haven't opened up to anyone about this as I feel such shame.

Everyone seems to be having more babies and I just wonder why that can't be me :'( I will feel so sad seeing everyone with their newborns. But I know I have to do what is right for my current children. They already all fight for my attention.

Thank you to anyone who has read this

Unpopular opinion but if you have even a sliver of doubt don't do it. I found after the fact how sugarcoated and fake everything they write about abortion is. I really wish someone had warned me about how life changing and devastating it is. The procedure is really painful. Personally after one year I have not recovered physically from the aspiration yet so I definitely do not recommend that either.

@AegeanPebble, If you don't mind me asking, did you have your surgical awake or asleep? I'm sorry you are struggling since you had it. I really hope you can find peace and heal from it. Thank you for your comment. Sending you love x

I was awake as it is the standard practice in my country. However I had a very strong visceral reaction and I was practically passed out towards the end. Apparently this is uncommon. They gave me a pill to take in advance that loosens the cervix and the cramps are excruciating, so I was in pain before they even started. A year on the pain hasn't really gone.

Hiya
I had a surgical abortion with my 5 th child as I really thought 4 was enough to cope with and also the dad was not supportive at all. No it’s wasn’t that painful at all really when I first woke up from the anesetic it felt like a strong period cramp but that quickly eased off plus they will give you pain medication. I actually caught the bus home as there was hardly any pain or bleeding .

I don’t think they even do it awake in the uk ? I’ve never heard of that

My friend had one awake at 15 weeks and we live in the UK. I think it's down to personal preference

In the country where I am now we don't have an option. I think it is because they are mostly done in clinics and not hospitals. But they really don't care about women's pain sadly.

I'm really sorry to hear that

Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope that the pain stops for you soon so you can move past this x

I'm sorry you didn't get the option to choose, I can't imagine how that must have been

Thank you so much for this. It's nice to hear from somebody who was in a very similar situation to me. How do you feel about it now? I'm scared I won't be able to stop thinking about what could have been. Do you think you will always stick at 4 or do you think you'll ever try again for another? I hope you don't mind me asking you these questions. Thank you for sharing your experience x

Hi, I'm sorry you're having to go through this, no matter how certain you are of your choice it's a really emotional time. As a previous poster has said, be as sure as you ever can be that this is right for you.
I had a surgical abortion for what would have been our 3rd child, under local anaesthetic so I was awake for it. Honestly the staff at the clinic were so lovely & although it wasn't nice it really wasn't painful - the actual procedure was very straightforward & minimally painful. I wasn't prepared for how emotional I'd be, a mixture of hormones, relief & sadness I think - even though we were certain it was right for us it was still a huge thing to go through.

It's been a year now & I still feel that way & don't regret it, I feel sadness for sure but no regret, it doesn't consume my thoughts & o feel I've moved on as much as I ever will.

We're all different people who cope with things in different ways but wanted to share a positive story for you