I dont know what to do

[GunesM]

Hi guy's brief history 37 3 children all c sections 1 ectopic surgery and 1 abortion I have recently discovered I am pregnant again and i never expected to feel this way I had always been a non closed door to more but now its reality the risks of a 4th c section going backwards in life again the affects it may have on my 3 boys(16,13,10). İ also recently in the last two year's had phnemonia and had a stomach ulcer I still dpnt feel completely back to myself and feel i dont want this baby but know have never ever got over the guilt and regret of my first abortion also my husband has recently found faith and became religious and in his faith it is not allowed ii cant cope right now my already sever anxiety has peaked irrational fears etc and i just dont know what to do I keep hopeing this will all end on it's own please someone offer some advice

Hi hun first of all I'm sending you a big hug and so much love . You seem very rushed into making your decision. That's great that your husband has found faith but do not let that be a determining factor in all of this . The message sounds like you don't want to have this baby but the fear of not getting over your first abortion and your husbands faith is making it hard to make a decision. Please don't rush your decision like most people do . Don't let the hormones overwhelm you too and let your mind go into panic mode . If you can sit with a counselor who is non biased and won't sway your decision.

if you don't feel it's right to have the baby due to your medical history and health then don't it's okay . But also if you feel you will regret the termination if you have one then you need to sit with someone you trust and really try and understand what you truly want . This is your choice to make and only yours . It's not an easy decision to make. Don't let anyone else cloud your judgment think of you and only you 💗 Please take care of yourself xx

Thank-you so much for you're reply I feel like a monster to be considering this again but deep inside my mental health and sever anxiety is easily triggered im not sure ill cope and with the health risks involved feel I should protect myself and my living children. We need husbands consent were i live so that's another worry if i do decide he is not going to consent this time around i just want to lock myself away from the world right now

I agree with what Tinydancer said. You have to put those things aside and think about what is realistic for you and what you truly want. At least from having a termination in the past, you know how you might feel after and you are mentally equipped. I had a termination at 17 and beat myself up over it for years, it hurt so bad. Then I sadly had to have another termination at 25 and I was prepared for the emotions and I made an educated decision. Although I was sad about getting myself in that same situation again, I know in my heart I made the right decision and I didn't let it consume me the second time around. I had to make that decision for my existing children and it was the right one still today. Best of luck to you x

Thank-you. After my last abortion i said its something id never do again the guilt and sadness never ending but as u say i always had that feeling it was wrong decision for the right reason's. And this kind of confirms again my feelings were valid as i feel the same way although how am I going to talk to this to my husband who has to agree in the country we are in

You are far from a monster you are a women in distress and turmoil with a big heart ❤️ Please don't be so hard on yourself this is already hard enough on you . You wouldn't speak to someone you love like this and call them a monster so don't do the same to yourself . You deserve love and compassion. When I made my decision I desperately did not want an abortion and wanted to keep it but knew it wasn't right to keep the baby . That didn't mean it didn't hurt any less . It still hurts but I have to remember why I made my decision at the time . Like I said hindsight is a great thing. Sit down and think what do you want and only you ! What do you think is best in your heart . Listen to your heart and only yours it will never steer you wrong 💗 xx