Abortion at 12 weeks due to drinking

[despolo]

Please be kind, I feel so guilty.

I have just found out that I am pregnant, It looks like I'm around 12 weeks.

I have been drinking heavily (on the odd weekend) throughout the past 12 weeks so am seriously considering having a termination. I wouldn't forgive myself if I have caused harm or damage to the baby from consuming alcohol. Of course if I had known that I was pregnant I would never have touched a drop!

I have spoken to the clinic, and as I am further than 10 weeks I would have to have the termination in hospital and stay there for the day which I really don't want to do 😔

Has anybody experienced this please? Or has anybody followed through with a pregnancy while drinking throughout the first trimester?

When I was pregnant with my first I didn’t find out till 8 weeks I was a weekend party animal at the time and she is a happy health 11 year old now. The chance you have done any damage is very minimal and I wouldn’t get a termination for that reason alone I’d only get one if you don’t want the baby.. in a lot of cases people drink smoke and alsorts before they know don’t be to hard on yourself x

@Kiwi23 thank you for sharing your experience, and I'm so glad your daughter ended up being fine😊

I think it's because I'm 12 weeks, 12 weeks seems really far on and I feel so awful that I was heavily drinking (I even went out last Saturday and was drunk!) I am just so worried about it. I have a friend who didn't know she was as pregnant until 38 weeks!!! And was doing all sorts while pregnant and her little girl is 8 now and totally fine, but it still is worrying me a lot! X

Lots of poorly drunk heavily before finding out they are pregnant. Most will be absolutely fine. If you want to keep your baby, then do!

The drinking you have done could have harmed your baby, but it's not very likely.
Having a termination however will definitely harm your baby.

noone has the perfect pregnancy- they may have not got vitamins, smoked, been stressed or done all sorts of things that then science finds are harmful like certain medications but things have been ok. if you want the pregnancy and can shower it with love thats all that matters. remember half of pregnancies are unplanned so many people will have been in your situation when they discovered they were prengnant and things have worked out ok. our minds due to pregnancy hormones can go into perinatal anexity when we are pregnant and 'panic' that we aren't in the perfect scenario for the baby e.g finances, right age etc and it sounds like that is what you mind is doing now. But please dont let the drinking be the reason you feel you cannot continue. access some counselling if you need to to process and help to manage the thoughts as that what they are- intrusive thoughts. the fact you are worrying shows you care

Thank you so much for your kind comments. I think if I found out a bit earlier I would have still thought "oh shit!!!" But to find out at 12 weeks it feels like a milestone, everything I've read online about drinking in the first trimester sounds very worrying which is really making me doubt. Also, the nurse I spoke to asked what my reasons were for considering termination and I told her about the drinking and she just kind of went along with it and agreed, which made me think maybe it could have an awful effect? My mind is going 1000 mph right now!! X

This was one of the reasons I had an abortion. I didn’t find out until 7 weeks and had been really heavily drinking (2 hen dos, a big work night out, several weekend bottles of wine). I felt like I couldn’t be a good mother, as I didn’t realise I was pregnant even though we were trying (I had a false negative test and what I thought was a period).
As soon as I did it, I regretted it and could see that although it wasn’t great to be drinking, terminating because of this was not the answer and the baby would likely have been fine.

dont take what the clinic said as feeling you should. they are trained to be supportive of your choices and not question your reasons. e.g when i had mine i was freaking out as i already had an 8 year old and the nurse was saying 'i can see why you dont want to go back to the baby stage' and i saw that as she feeling i should be getting one when after the event i realised they just do agree whatever your reasons. it may be worth contacting your early pregnancy unit or midwife service to explain your concerns and hopefully they will put your mind at rest. its fine to want a termination but please dont let the fear of the drinking being the reason as no one has the perfect pregnancy where they follow all the guidelines to the letter.