Help asap

[ShyLionesss]

need advice asap hopefully today as tomorrow I have my pre op for surgical abortion,, so I have a 23 year old son and a 71/2 month old ,, I’m currently pregnant about 7 week
He Wants an abortion
I want this baby !! But I would be doing it on my own he made it clear
I been thinking of how I can keep this baby on my own with a young baby already,, I’m currently 42 and have grand mal seizures and eating disorders
I love my girl so fucking much I could just eat her lol
but it gets hard I won’t lie ,, I have almost had a break down and I’m always so so tired 🥱
I can’t or won’t be able to cope with 2 under 2 I don’t have family or friends at all so no support network
he said he won’t help or anything,, I have tried looking for nannie and mothers help so I can do this but it’s too expensive:(( my son has moved to Lake District which is 5 hours from me so he can’t help !! I’m torn so torn !!!

I'm so sorry ShyLioness, no woman should be forced to choose between her partner and her baby. Are you married to this guy, or is it a partner? Is the main problem that you need child care? Or the cost of nappies and formula? Have you and your partner discussed whether you want your current baby to grow up as (essentially) an only child, or did you want a sibling for her? At your age you should probably consider this your last chance (rather than say we'll try again in a few years). Or you could wait and see, as the chance of miscarriage increases as women age, and if this happens you could say it "wasn't meant to be." Abortion is very complicated, physically and emotionally, and if you get one just to please your partner (or anyone else), I think it is setting you up for a future of sadness, grief, and resentment, especially if you are sad afterward and he doesn't get it. Just telling you that he must get his way or he's leaving you is not a sign of a good relationship. At least have him sit down and look at the numbers with you, see if there is anything that can be done. You sound like a good, resourceful mum and maybe there is a way to make this work. Maybe he's the kind of man who likes to have everything go exactly to plan, and when things don't happen that way, he doesn't know how to deal with it. Hope to hear back from you about how you are doing, take good care of yourself and be assertive about your wants and feelings.

So sorry to hear you are in this position. At 41 I aborted a surprise pregnancy because my mental health was in the bin and my husband feared that the pregnancy would do further damage to my health and our family life. At that moment in time as difficult as it was it was the right decision however, 2 years on i live with a deep regret that I didn't advocate for myself a bit more and seek professional help. I panicked. I fell pregnant 6 months later but he was unfortunately very poorly and we lost him too. I'm now desperately wanting another but feeling that at 43, my time has passed. Every day I'm consumed with sadness and guilt and if I'm honest a little resentment.

My advice would be take more time to decide and don't rush into a decision. It's so hard and I really feel for you.