I think I want an abortion.

[emm9333]

Hello, I'm just under 6 weeks pregnant. I want to abort. I have been wanting to keep but also not sure I'm mentally ready for another baby, it would be my fourth. I have two children previous. I don't drive and our house isn't currently big enough.
My partner wants me to decide as he said isn't fair.He would like another child but I just don't feel mentally prepared for it and I'm constantly overwhelmed at the moment.
I'm really worried he will resent me over this. I am I being selfish for thinking about my mental health?. My youngest is currently 13 months.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Hey. Nobody really knows your situation and there can be so much to it but what I would say from an mental health pov is that if you’re worried about your mental health then an abortion can also really negatively impact that. Not everyone ‘walks away’ or ‘feels relieved. Some people live with a massive mental health impact of guilt, shame and grief which can massively impact them and their families. It’s so complex and I think the thing is; nobody really knows what person you’ll be until afterwards. I’m pro choice btw it’s your body and nobody else is the one to go through that pregnancy but I think that people should have all the information before making that decision and in my experience they don’t.

i would access some counselling as that would help to process your concerns and work out which option feels best- both may be hard but its almost working out which one you can live with most. its also worth thinking about how you would cope emotionally with a decision- do you tend to accept your decisions and move on or would you be always feeling there is was 'somebody' missing- only you know. But as the other poster says you dont just go back to where you were before and its thinking about which one you could cope with most

Hi Emm, I can't imagine how you must be feeling, it sounds like this pregnancy was a surprise. You said you have been wanting to keep so it sounds like some part of you is open to having another. If you just found out you're pregnant, that's a really bad time to make a permanent choice- it's like being hit with a tidal wave of shock and worry (have definitely been there). I thought Saskia had good advice, to get some counseling if you are able, to help you think this through. And if your husband is open to having another child, maybe see if he is also willing to do more chores/shopping/help with the children, or to get you some help. It sounds like you are already struggling to do everything you need to do, so this is a conversation you should have either way. How old are your oldest two? Could they be doing more to help out? I think the most regret happens when decisions are made quickly, out of panic, so please give yourself some time to think about this, and include your husband in the discussion. Hope things work out for you, dear.

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