IVF from frozen 34 eggs or natural conception at 38

[CMAC86]

Hi,

I'm wondering whether I should try to get pregnant naturally at 38 or use my frozen embryos from when I was 34.

I was told at 34 by a consultant at the Lister clinic that I was falling off my fertility cliff. So, I decided to freeze embryos with my husband in June 2021. In September 2021 we fell pregnant naturally and had a beautiful baby girl.

In May this year, I gave birth to my son at 5 months pregnant and he died in my arms shortly after. They have done a postmortem but they still don't know what the cause of death was. They know he was very poorly. They haven't found a specific chromosome abnormality, but they are seeing some chromosome issues in the placenta (not enough to understand why he died though). We don't have a cause of death yet.

I want to get pregnant again. I don't know whether to try naturally and risk it happening again or to use my frozen embryos which might have a lower chance of any chromosome abnormalities. Any thoughts? I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond 💓

I have no advice but wanted to offer a handhold and a shared experience.

I'm so sorry you lost your baby boy. I also have 2 frozen embryos from when I was 33. My daughter was born via IVF in 2014. We then had 2 surprise natural pregnancies in 2022 but lost them both at 9 weeks and 14 weeks pregnant. We found out at the 12 week scan that our 2nd surprise wasn't going to make it due to a severe cystic hygroma. We were able to have cells tested from the cord aswell and discovered he also had T21. I'm now 43 and have sought advice from the fertility clinic. My embryos from 33 are much less likely to have any abnormalities than any now at 43. I'd say at 38 you are still very much able to have another healthy natural pregnancy x

Oh CMAC, my eyes filled with tears as I read your post. The thought of your tiny baby, and having him pass away, it's heartbreaking. My cousin had twins at five months, one survived and one lived, and I remember well all the photos from the incubator, all the caring doctors who did their best to fight for their lives. I'm so sorry for your loss.

If I was you I would try the frozen embryos. They are already there and waiting, and you'll be pregnant immediately if one implants. I hope you will be able to give your daughter a sibling (or multiple, if it should happen), and that you will be able to have peace in your heart.

Thank you @Alwayssomething14 and @NeonCarrot it’s so kind of you to take the time to reply. It’s nice to be able to talk about my thoughts with a group that understand and share such kindness 💗

Absolutely! Hope that in the next year or two you are able to have another baby to love. Your heart has been through so much.