Selective reduction of twins

[Creamcracker1993]

Hi, Iv recently found out I’m pregnant with twins.. however we already have a toddler and have gone over everything but we just cannot have twin babies.
I have asked if I can abort 1 baby when speaking with early pregnancy unit, to be told no they only do it for 3+ babies..
does anybody know of any clinics and the costs of having this procedure done privately? Or how to get around it with the NHS. This is not a decision we have might lightly, but it seems crazy the NHS is happy for you to abort both babies, rather than abort 1. This is a heart breaking situation, and I do feel that no matter what decision I make, I’m going to struggle mentally.
any help and advise would be appreciated, thanks!

I assume they do it with 3+ for medical reasons and would do both but not one because you don’t want any children

Hello. I am exactly in the same situation now. May I ask if I you found any private/NHS to help you with this? Struggling to find a way out of this situation.

I did!! So I emailed loads of consultants and clinics and got told to email the Fetal medicine centre in London - [email protected]
I had a consultation roughly about 11 weeks where they scanned me and explained what would happen, then a week later I went back to London and had the procedure, the procedure itself was super quick and not painful - just very emotional but it was the right thing for us. Professor Kypros Nicolaides did it for me, he’s amazing at his job! If you google him, he is the guy you want doing it, he’s like the god of Fetal medicine. The consultation was £120 but did include a scan and the procedure itself was £500. I’m not 19 weeks pregnant and my baby is growing as they should and hopefully continues to do so! Please ask any questions as I know how scary it can feel to be in that situation and lonely when it’s hard to find someone who’s been through it. I hope you’re okay ❤️

I'm in the exact same position as you and it is truly heartbreaking. It's not the same as having an unwanted pregnancy as it's not that you don't want it it's that you don't want 2. We had a loss earlier this year and I feel so guilty I'm not happy about having healthy baby this time but I cannot see how we would cope with 2. The house, car finances and the impact on my older child is breaking me.
I have also looked at options of what to do and I haven't found an option of selective reduction unless you're having 3 or more.

I'm sorry you're going through this too and please know all your feelings are valid and you're grieving for the pregnancy/life you expected

It’s so sad to see other couples experiencing this, I felt so alone! But I’m glad people are finding this post now.. please look into the Fetal medicine centre! They are amazing and will be able to help you x

Can I ask what type of twins you had? I've been told mine are identical and share a placenta but have their own sac which apparently is more high risk. I've also read so much about the chances of something bad happening in the pregnancy or when they're born needing to be in intensive care. The whole thing is just filling me with worry and guilt

If they share a placenta pretty sure you won't be able to have a selective reduction it's too high risk for the other one: And how would you choose which one? And what would you say to the surviving twin if they ever found out?

I have twins. Know lots of twin mums. The majority of the births were all fine - all the additional scans etc probably made it lower risk. Not many I know had to go into intensive care. I also had an older child, Small car and small house. You honestly just adjust. And i can honestly say (for me) it was worth it and I'd do it all again tomorrow

I had non identical, separate sacs and placentas! I got told that if they share anything, they can clamp the cord to stop the blood flow.
im 22 weeks, my baby is absolutely fine currently, active, wriggling a lot and kicking! No concerns on scans.
my first pregnancy was a twin pregnancy too, non identical twins, with one stopping growing at 7 weeks, and I went out to have a healthy daughter, with no concerns!

The choice is not down to us, in my case, the professor made the decision for us and they go for the baby that’s furthest away from the placenta.
I know about twins, my mum is an identical twin but that doesn’t mean it’s something that I wanted.. like someone said I wanted a baby, I didn’t want 2 babies.. it wasn’t an unwanted pregnancy.
we all have our own reasons, however the theme seems to be the same - eg finances, logistics, health..
if my first pregnancy had worked out (started as a twin pregnancy, but 1 stopped growing) then we would of continued with both.. however already having other children, and then adding another 2 was not feesable for us. However, nobody has to justify their actions, you do what’s right for your family, and only they know what is right ❤️

Furthest away from the cervix.. not placenta 🫣

If the person asking about it doesn't want to have twins, then they don't want to have twins..? They're not looking for stories from people who have managed to make it work.

Hi, I just wanted to check how you got on with your pregnancy? I am currently speaking the clinic because of this post so I am hoping that things will work out for me too!

Hi @Shellbelle85 I am in my 28 week, a healthy baby, it is a surprise one. They know what they are doing. It is normal to have worries and doubts, hope you make the best decision and everything goes well for you 🩷

Hey, I had my daughter on Sunday. She is perfect! Glad you have found this post and i
hope it helps!! I know how much of a scary and isolating place it can feel to be in this situation xx

Absolutely amazing! Congratulations!!!

I’m so glad I found your post because it’s hopefully going to help us with our journey too. It’s really hard to find any info online because I suppose no one seems to actively advertise that they offer this kind of service.

all the best with your new born little girl!!

Brilliant! I wish you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy!

That is right. No body talks about it and no info on net, I guess trying to hide from the religious opposition. I asked my GP and the nurse dared to advise me to keep both babies because she had twins and she believed it works easy and smooth. I felt she even got angry with me because I was considering reducing. Also, the professor who did my NHS early scan on week 12, she tried to discourage me as well, just a bit more softly. At the end she asked who I am going to meet and when I named Professor Nicolaydes he confirmed he is the only one able to do this. So, what I feel, there is the information out there in the network, they just prefer not to share it. I absolutely think even if NHS is not offering the service, which basically they have to, at least they must provide a list of the options people can refer to in such a stressful time-sensitive situation.

Reading all the extra risks imposed to my babies and myself in a twin pregnancy, extra mental and financial pressure, turning a joyful pregnancy journey into a stressful one, and a lot more are neglected cause they don't care to give me the right info or they prefer not to because of their, not mine, religious beliefs. I personally know two separate pairs of twins where one is quite healthy and the second one suffers serious mental problems. I know my small circle of acquaintances is not recognized as a logical reason to reduct all the twin pregnancies, but likewise no body else's positive experience of having twins is not adjusting or convincing me to go through all those risks.

I totally agree with you. With the midwife it was basically terminate if you don’t want 2 and I was lucky I came across this post. I also didn’t want the extra mental stress, emotional stress, financial, logistical issues and everything else I was worried about, especially with having a 2 year old toddler already, so this is the best route for me. I’m just waiting for a phone call from the professor and they have agreed to do the procedure in longs hospital. I’m not sure on coats yet, but will hopefully find out more when I speak to them.

*kings hospital in London

@Shellbelle85 - just wanted to offer my support here and let you know you’re not alone. We are also going through this and it really is a dark time as there doesn’t seem to be a right option. My midwives, including twin midwife who has twins herself have been incredibly supportive (consultant less so) and have referred me on the NHS (to a different professor, although we did also meet with Nicolaides). All of the reasons all posters above have given are completely valid are the same for us, I cannot see how we can cope physically, mentally or financially and be good parents to three children. We were so excited to find out we were pregnant and since finding out it was twins it’s stripped away all that joy, the guilt around that is awful too! Wishing you a smooth pregnancy and I hope everything go smoothly for you and you are okay.

yes it seems that very little places are able to offer help and support and my midwife has been great, but I think we are just going to have to see what happens. I'm booked in to go to london on the 25th march for the procedure with the professor (I am having to go private because his PA said they could do it on the NHS if I was referred by a hosptial, but that seems very unlikely to happen because the only seem to offer this kind of procedure on medical grounds, rather than considering feelings and mental state of the mother) so fingers crossed all goes well and that my pregnancy continues with the remaining twin and that there is a happy outcome at the end.I will be 12 weeks and 4 days when I have the procedure.
I hope all goes well for you too. How far are you into your pregnancy if you dont mind me asking?

I've replied above but forgot to tag you sorry

@Shellbelle85 - I’m 10 weeks-ish at the moment so will be 12+1 at my appointment (Although 12+4 by another scan, no one can really agree on dates some have measured by bigger twin and some by smaller twin). We still have 100% agreed we’re going through with it. Hope everything goes well for you, feel free to DM me / keep me updated how everything goes.